I feel like the girl who cried wolf.
Do you ever feel like you make a ton of promises to yourself and others and fail to follow through...every time? That's how I feel. How many times have I sat here over the last 6 years promising that this was the time...that this was the day I began my healthy life? I'd have to say well over 100 times. I have promised myself, my Sparkfriends, my family, Facebook, Instagram...and yet here I am..still 287 pounds...still on the struggle bus. Well guess what my friends, this journey towards health after 29 years of unhealthy eating habits is NOT easy. I have a food addiction which like any addiction is NOT easy to deal with. I am not going to be fake with you. I am not going to sit here and pretend to be perfect. This is MY journey and unfortunately my journey is not a direct path to One-derland. I have had many pitstops, exit ramps, detours, and dead ends. But I am not going to give up! I would rather be known as the girl who struggled for 6 plus years only to end up succeeding then being that fake person who pretends everything is sunshine and rainbows!!
This morning, I stumbled across a Gab Sesh that Jen Widerstrom had posted last night. I'm not sure if you all know who she is but she is the new female trainer on The Biggest Loser and I just love her! I'm not a huge fan of TBL due to unhealthy and unsustainable habits but they make it quite clear that it is a competition and the break through's along the way are still real! Anyways, this past season was the first season I watched from beginning to end and I really loved the type of trainer and coach Jen was so I have been following her on Insta and FB. Well this morning I watched her video and she gave some great advice for losing weight. One thing she made clear was that consistancy is really important. She said to be consistant with 3 main things:
1. 50-70 ounces of water CONSISTANTLY every day.
2. Walk 20 minutes after lunch.
3. Do not combine carbs and fats. Use one or the other as the source of fuel.
I found these really great tips and I decided to dedicate this week to trying the first 2. I would like to try the third tip eventually but another thing Jen stated was not to go too hard too fast which I have a tendency of doing so many times! I am currently on my 3rd bottle of water...dealing with caffeine withdrawal...And powering through because I am worth the effort!
SO this morning I weighed myself, took measurements, and some pictures. I am going to share ALL of them with you! I'm done being ashamed! This is who I am! This is me on May 10th, 2016! I am sharing my struggles in the hopes that one day I can share the celebrations! So here are my numbers:
- Waist: 48 in.
- Belly: 57 in.
- Hips: 55 in.
- Left Arm: 16.5 in.
- Right Thigh: 25 in.
- Right Calf: 18 in.
- Bust: 50 in.
Here are the before pictures I took this morning as well: (Not pretty but HONEST!) Don't mind my messy house or sleepy face! I was super exhausted this morning!
The last few days I have felt so worthless and so depressed. I couldn't understand how I could have such an amazing husband or great friends because how can they stand being around me. I have been disgusted with myself...this is not how I want to feel about myself! I hate putting myself down...I hate berating myself to myself and others...I am tired of feeling sick...I want to try again. Will I fail? Maybe...but I'm not going to give up on myself. I will fight and fight to beat this addiction...I hope you all continue to follow me on my continuous curvy journey forward!