I haven't been posting much as I have been going through other surgeries the last couple months and it's been rough recovering.
I had RNY surgery August 4th of last year. My main motivation was to lose weight for back surgery which I needed to keep walking. My health was so bad they gave me just over a year to lose this or it may be too late- and I'd end up in a care facility- and then my life would be over. That was the prognosis at the time, and I admit I was much sicker than I thought at the time.
So I had surgery. Friends, family, my community- everyone pitched in to help me pay for this (my insurance would not do it). I've posted some updates along the way.
I just had my 1 year check up- along with an almost 1 month check up from my two level fusion surgery for my back. I am healing, not as fast as I'd like sometimes, but every day is better and my energy is starting to return. I had a complication from the fusion and had to be re-opened, so it has delayed recovery.
My bariatric surgeon takes photos, day of surgery and 1 year, and I'm sharing those here.
But I need to say- if anyone reads this- that the physical changes have been great and I'm thankful for my health and my LIFE possibilities back, but I did not have this surgery for physical reasons. I had it because I knew I was dying, little by little I felt it- and I knew I was going to cut my life short- and I knew it was MY fault. Yes, I know I have a lot of cards stacked here- my surgeon told me that despite 45 years of dieting- that nothing I could have done would have helped me get where I needed to be. My metabolism was truly broken, from years of abuse, and I was at a point where I needed medical intervention. It's nice to see the changes- but it isn't why I did this.
And it isn't what I thought it would be. I am serious that I dieted for 45 years- every diet you can think of- and in my mind i had a 'vision' of what thin would feel like, and look like. I held onto that all the time- it was my dream. But this isn't that. I have lost over 200 pounds total here and my body shows it- hanging skin and crepey skin. I do not have the bikini body I dreamed of. But I have a body that WORKS. And that- that makes all this worth it.
I'm thankful to so many people- many here on SP who have stood by me as I struggled through this year. No mistake about it- surgical solutions are not big band aids for addiction. I still struggle with that every day- all the time. Food was my 'thing', and I am not always happy to not have it work like it did. It's been a rough year physically and emotionally. But in the end, my body is still working here, my future isn't dire, and I am a thankful person.
Before an after photos- this was not my 'highest' weight- this was about 60 pounds less than my highest.