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Thursday, January 12, 2017

I spent most of my life dieting and trying to be the perfect size, the perfect mother, the perfect wife, OVERALL JUST PERFECT.... and after menopause, and a few other complications, I swore I would never do it again. Whatever I did would require me to change my entire thought process and way of life.

I know I'm probably not the best example of sucessful weight loss -- geez, I was up 2 lbs by the end of last year -- but I have learned to not let things get to me. I try to make mostly "healthy" choices and enjoy life to the fullest. To me that means some of MY healthy choices may not fit the worlds definition.

Which is healthier:
1. watching everything and hating every moment becuase I feel deprived,
2. enjoying the cake and ice cream at the Party * WITHOUT GUILT * because I've eaten a smaller portion and I know this doesn't happen everyday.

In my book, the 2nd option is helathier. It really is about attitude. When I felt guilty or deprived over choices I'd made I only hurt myself. I had to get rid of the negative self talk. I had to really want to make a change for myself, not my doctors or loved ones, before I could actually make the change. I had to love and accept who I was (and am now) to actually make a difference in my life later.

I don't always track everything, and most of what I do track is for point gathering only, see how fast that stops once I reach level 25 =). I have a general idea of what a portion size is and the approximate calories for that portion... this is easier to do on whole or non-processed foods... but it can be done with processed foods too. I fully understand that for me "garbage in = garbage out". The better my choices, the better I feel.

I don't fret the numbers on the scale, although I do monitor them from time to time, and I don't always listen to what the doc says either (you do realize only so many of them graduated in the top 1/2 of their classes, who's to say the one I'm listening to isn't from the bottom 1/2 =) -- if I can't trust myself then who can I trust. Of course I don't have any major health issues -- I know I'm doing the best I can with what I have.

I know this year I've not pushed myself hard enough, mostly because I'd rather be having fun with the kids or DH. The choice is mine.... I just need to make sure I'm gonna be happy/able to live with the choice I make -- plus I need to be willing to accept the consequence of that choice/behaviior. Some days are interrupted by life and I can't get what I was hoping to achieve done, but that doesn't mean I failed -- its just means it didn't happen yet.

It usually comes down to making time for structured eating and exercise or making time and memories for my grands and family .... the family wins every time. I just try to find the best balance and work on it. =)

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