Its an inside job

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

This year marks my 10 year anniversary here on SP. Its bittersweet I must say bc after 10 years I have not hit my goal weight. I'm not here to highlight my lack of achievement though. I am writing this to reflect on my journey. I started tracking again last week and I must say that pesky fear of falling off the wagon for the 1000th time keeps creeping up. I find myself anxious wanting the days to pass fast and the scale to hit a number I haven't seen in a really long time. I lost 4lbs last week but I dont equate it to success bc I've lost those same lbs over and over again in the past few months. And I hate that feeling! I am so incredibly hard on myself and I am working on focusing on the good things I have accomplished. Like the fact that I didnt gain back all 85lbs I originally lost 10 years ago. Ive gradually gained 40lbs and 20 of them recently due to a death in my family. Any way, this journey is an inside job. I truly believe my weight struggle is not a condition but a mere consequence of a sick soul. My soul is tired, its sad, its angry and its chronically frustrated. I am a believer and I know that allowing God to transform my mind and thoughts is a process that will not happen suddenly. This is a process that has taken a lot of courage both my weight loss and my healing. Understanding this has been one of the many things I have learned in these 10 years. We have the power to choose what we want to do. Do we wake up and choose the victim hat or the victor hat? Today I choose to be a victor and I will push past that pesky little voice and drown it with water!! 😂 Join me! I can do all things IN Christ that strengthens me ❤
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    Hang in there
    1494 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.