And the struggle is...
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
BP is coming down on the new meds, but not enough. So, another change to the medications this week. We'll see. I asked her about exercising...she said for right now, she wants me only to walk for two 15 minute periods per day.
Now, the real struggle is conquering my fear. I've never been afraid to walk vigorously, or try a new exercise, but, I admit, now I'm afraid to move. I feel that anything I do will shoot my BP up and I'll stroke out. She said I didn't need to worry about that any more, and the scary reading I had that sent us on this journey was because I really was dealing with a torrent of major-emotion-erupting things. Still, 185/95 is what is was and I can't stop dwelling on it, even though the BP readings last week were mostly in the low 140s.
I've decided that what I need to do is trust. I'm going to trust this program, I'm going to trust my doctor, and I'm going to absolve myself for a while of feeling that I'm weak, not worth it, should just give up and that I'm not doing enough to get stronger. I'm going to concentrate on my heart health and bringing down the BP and try to relax.
So easy, right? Anyway, that's the struggle, and I'm so glad to be part of a community that understands.