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What is wrong with me

Saturday, September 30, 2017

I first started my Sparkpeople journey back in 2007. I was almost done with college (took me a while to get there) and I wanted a new lease on life. Since then, I turned 40, ran numerous races (5K's, 10K's and 2 1/2 marathons) I have worked out in the gym, went on many walks (some as far as 1/2 marathon) gone on bike rides and now I am 43 and have no desire to do any of it. I look at other peoples posts...see people outside exercising...and a big part of me knows I should be right out there with them...but I don't. The end result of not wanting to do any of this....I eat more and I have been the heaviest that I have ever been in my life.
Clothes that I have worn...they don't fit and I try to justify to myself why the next biggest size isn't a problem.
My husband, he has been my biggest cheerleader through all the races. He and I work out together in the gym...he has tried to find out by talking to me...why I don't want to do the things I used to....and I have no answer for him. I said it was that I "lost my running high" I just do not know if that was the right answer.
Why can't I find a button to inspire me again?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You might just be burnt out. Take a breather, be kind to yourself. BUT set a time limit where you let yourself just be. 1 month or so. Then go try new things. Something will light that spark once again:)

    1401 days ago
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    Lisa, sounds like depression or premenopausal symptoms you are going through. I’m 61, and had areal tough time from 45 to 50. You will find your way back, just be patient with yourself and communicate with your doctors! Wishing you love, hope and courage!
    1404 days ago
    Melissa said it so well! I just want to add that we're always here for you. We won't give up on you so don't give up on yourself! I'm praying for you Lisa! You are a woman of faith - turn it over to Him! Ask for His help. We have all struggled and know how frustrating it can get - we can't do it alone. So check in with us when you want - no pressure; but we'll be there support if you need us!
    1405 days ago
    Lisa, it sounds like you may have burned yourself out. I have done that myself. Started off great, going to the gym, walking every day, workouts several times a week and more. I lost weight but it got to the point where I just felt overwhelmed in trying to keep this lifestyle up and I didn't want to do it anymore. I gained some weight back but eventually that spark came back and I got back into the exercising and dieting. I was depressed for a while when I realized my scale was going up again and that is probably where you are at now. As Melissa said, perhaps it's time to talk to a professional and ask for some help. Posting about it here and recognizing and acknowledging that something isn't going right for you right now is a great start.

    I hope you find your spark again real soon. emoticon We are here for you so don't be afraid to reach out to any of us.

    1405 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/30/2017 6:47:33 PM
    We are always here for you Lisa! I agree with a lot of what Melissa said. I would go see your doctor and tell them what is going on. There may be medical issues that need to be dealt with. I also agree with just 10 minutes of walking or something. I know that I use a foot pedeler while on the computer. I'm doing something healthy for myself while doing other things. I would always rather be watching tv or whatever else than exercising but I know it is for a healthy me.

    Reach out anytime if you need to vent or feel down or whatever. I am always here for you and cheering for you too!
    1405 days ago
    emoticon My heart hears you. I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said, especially by Melissa, but know that I cheering for you. Don't give up. emoticon
    1405 days ago
    Lisa, there are no words, that light bulb moment just has to come from within and one day it will.
    Just keep loving yourself. I pray you find that I can do this moment soon, just don't give up on yourself!

    big hugs friend...
    1405 days ago
    Have you considered being evaluated for depression, or perimenopause? Perimenopause can wreak havoc with your energy levels, trust me! Google it and see if you have any other signs of perimenopause. This sounds very out of character for you, and I think that you should investigate, rather than accept it as "the new you".
    1405 days ago
    This comment is from the professional, Licensed Professional counselor,me, and what you said.... Your husband asked why don't you like doing the things you used to do.... That is one of the leading symptoms of depression. Eating more and gaining weight are also signs of depression.

    You may want to talk to your doctor about a short time try of an anti-depressant. I know your job has been stressful and prolonged stress can change brain chemistry and you become depressed.

    Now, as a friend.... Sweetie.... We miss you!! There are a couple others strugglign in the same way! We can help you find your Spark again.

    I hate for you to quit SP. It has so much motivation and information. Don't compare yourself to everyone else.

    Simply try a 10 minute exercise streak... Anything! Walk, bike, run.... Find some 10 minute workouts on sP or You tube. Try yoga or other gentle exercises.

    Exercise really does help depression too. I know this one from all the research I've read, but from my own personal battle with depression too.

    Start all over. Switch out one less than healthy food item for a healthy one. don't worry about tracking and measuring and all that right now..... that comes when you start to feel better.

    Try to stay on SP. Even if you are only reading articles. And, check in with us, your friends!!

    don't worry about what everyone else is doing. Just do what will work for you!

    Know how much I love you and care about you! think about seeing your doctor. And, please know, you are never alone! someone is always just a click away! Take care!! Sending hugs your way!
    1405 days ago
    Do you WANT to lose weight? Start small. Just go for a 5 min. Or less walk. Or plan a day out in nature. Near a lake, stream, forest, and/or mountain.
    1405 days ago
    Experiment with other activities. Maybe you just need a change.
    1405 days ago
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