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Understanding Myself

Friday, October 13, 2017

I often envy people I see, running 5k's and 10k's, young and old. I few years back I was walking up to 2 miles, very focused and although I physically couldn't run, I was determined to at least walk a 5k. Fastfoward, to 2016) I went into a deep depression ( a life long battle), because I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and DDD (in my back and neck), always in excruciating pain. I pretty much curled up in to a ball and thought I was doomed to live in pain for the rest of my life. As well as continue to fight the depression and anxeity, I have hardly ever known relief from. I've been on a variety of meds, most of my life.. seasaw and cycling through, every imaginable combination. I recently got to the point, of going off all my meds. I was eating healthier and to my amazement, I actually lost some weight I was excited! But with all the pain, I still couldn't get myself motivated enough, to get physically active. As much as I don't want to admit it, I needed help! Real help. So Monday I have an appointment, for some counseling. Fingers crossed that this young lady, can help. I don't really want to go back on antidepressants. I am however, trying Lyrica, for the first time, since my diagnosis (2016). I don't think I'm in denial any longer, I believe I moved on to bargaining! I haven't accepted that I will no longer be able to do the things I use to do. I'm in chronic pain from the DDD, which certainly limits my mobility, resulting in about a 60 pounds. I need to change my thoughts. I have to be able to learn, I can change my ways in a way, that I am not going to over do it and then be down for a few days. It's a shame that there isn't more awareness and research on Fibromyalgia. Alot of doctors, just don't know. I learned the other day, that extreme stress, is not good for me. As I had experienced pain, beyond belief. This was an eye opener! And I realized I can control this, evil beast, if u would stop feeling sorry for myself and ask for help! I may not have contribute to this EVIL, but I surly can contain it! Thanks for reading!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You’ve got a lot going on for sure! Be kind to yourself through this journey. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it. And you are worth it.
    1381 days ago
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