That Magical Number - Everyone Has One
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
I’m close, very close to that “magical” number of 169. Why is 169 so important? It is a number I haven’t seen in years, and it puts me within 10# of goal. So, why is it when I get close to that number, I get off track and start sabotaging myself? What is it that makes us fearful of meeting our final goal? What takes place in our minds that gets us off track and back into all those unhealthy habits, eating to much, moving too little? Before I went on our annual girls’ trip, I was within .8 in hitting that 169. I was hoping to maintain, but gained a couple of pounds. Some of that was too much salty stuff and Mon. I was down a pound. On my way to 169 this week. Wrong-All I did was eat, snack, sit. What happened, why did I do that to myself? Plus, I felt miserable all day.
I am not alone in this cycle. I think in some ways, the weight is our friend and we don’t want to give up our friend. This friend, protects us, gives us excuses for not doing things, going places. I have a love/hate relationship with my weight. It’s been part of my life since I was a teen. Up and down the scale. I hate the weight, I hate the way it makes me feel, but I love the way it is a comfort, protects me, lets me eat whatever I want without feeling guilt, it makes me happy and I don’t have to face the reasons I overeat. The “fat” 13-year-old girl is still inside. In my mind’s eye, the slim 16-25 yr old is only found in pics. Up and down the yo-yo string has been a way of life.
However, I look in my closet, all the clothes I was wearing when I started the 5% challenges are gone. Replaced with smaller sizes. Shopping was a joy last week, found so many great bargains on some really pretty things, everything I tried on fit. So, I ask myself again, “when will you realize your comfort is not in food?” You would think at 67, I would have learned that lesson. As a Christian, I know my true comfort and peace is in Christ. That food is a poor substitute.
So today, I am ditching that old friend, the one that is not good for me or my health. That fake comfort that tells me it’s o.k. to eat 5 truffles, a large orange scone, a chocolate donut and peanut butter out of the jar. It is only temporary, by bedtime, that comfort, has turned into a big lump, and left me drained, still craving something to eat. That old friend does not satisfy and doesn’t fill that big hole.
So today, I am putting on one of my new smaller tops, reinforce myself with praise and worship music, get some exercise in and be Thankful for the true friends, both the ones that I do life with here and my Clover friends. Most of all Thankful for the One who brings true peace and comfort.