A letter to a friend

Friday, December 08, 2017

Dear friend:

So you blew it yesterday and today is/was the wedding shower. What's done is done and that's all there is to it but tonight and tomorrow are unmapped territories, we can start a new route and tell ourselves we can and we will master this new territory. No more I hope, or I wish or I think etc. etc. that is too ambiguous that is not giving our word, that is not a promise to ourselves, that is leaving the door open ---just in case. Just in case we want to let ourselves off the hook and say oh well I'll just have one and it will be ok or ohhh that looks so good I just can't resist. But you know and I know one is never enough and be darned, we CAN RESIST if we put our minds to it. We aren't babies, what is wrong with us, we know better. We know HOW to do it, we simply choose not to. We need to think about how bad we will feel if we eat the treat BEFORE we eat it not AFTER we eat it. We need to think about how proud we will be of ourselves when we don't eat the treat.

I've been thinking a lot about my always saying I am going to lose weight and yet I cave, time after time after time. I am a stickler for promises. If I tell someone I am going to do something then I make darn sure I do it. My word is my word --- so I have decided to make promises to myself, to keep my word and I started doing just that this morning. We were going to look at a mare and foal close to Didsbury, a 1.5 hour drive or so. DH's brother came with us. Before we even left home I made up my mind that I would have soup for lunch or maybe a salad. So lunch time arrived and we stopped at Tim's. I had chicken noodle soup (small) and of course it comes with an itty bitty whole grain bun and 3 pats of butter. I ate the soup and used 1/2 of a pat of butter and I was full. (I wasn't hungry to start with so that made it easy!!) Oh yeah I had coffee with sweetener and 1 cream.

I think it comes down to respect for ourselves and how important we think we are. Who is the most important person in my life? I am. You are the most important person in your life and I am the most important person in my life. Period. We must conduct our lives that way which, does not mean we be nasty to others in our lives. WE HAVE to look after ourselves, our health, our minds, our hygiene, our bodies so does it not stand to reason that when we say we are going to do something for ourselves we HAVE to honour that. When we don't, aren't we telling ourselves that we aren't important, that we don't deserve respect??

You must know people who say oh sure I will come over and help with this or that or we must get together for lunch and we never hear from them again unless we do the contacting..... Just this winter a gal that I know at the bank kept saying we need to do lunch some day. So I texted her and a mutual friend and decided we would have a gal's night, just the 3 of us. I would prepare dinner and we could sample the wine that I had just recently bottled - 2 different kinds. The "bank" gal FORGOT she had a doctors appointment in Calgary that afternoon and the other came down with the flu. "Bank" gal is just giving me lip service and time will tell about the other one.

I am going to preplan my meals the night before---that will be my promise to myself and there will be no waivering or last minute decisions that way. When I want to have say ice cream instead of yogurt I just have to say to myself "you made a promise to yourself and now you need to keep it."


Today is December 8, 2017 I came across this letter which I believe I wrote the beginning of April this year and thought I'd share it. I feel today the exact same way I did then.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for sharing your heart. You speak for many of us. emoticon
    811 days ago
  • ANNIE1114
    I agree and identify with what you have said.
    1055 days ago
    Thank you for this blog. I can identify with so much you've said here, most of all the tendency to honor my promises to others but not my promises to myself. It's sort of shocking how we treat ourselves sometimes, isn't it? So I am glad to hear that you have vowed to be different and to respect and value your own needs. You're right that putting ourselves first is very natural and the most basic thing about life, but somewhere along the way we (especially women!) forget about taking care of ourselves and turn what should be a virtue (unselfishness) into something unhealthy. That's certainly the story of my adult life, and I'd like to change, too!

    Too bad about how your dinner got canceled. I hope the cancellation happened BEFORE you'd bought all the stuff. I've had the experience of having prepared for guests and they cancel at the last minute, and I'm stuck with too much food! So irritating. And you know how to bottle wine? That's intriguing. You're a woman of many talents!

    1223 days ago
    You are so worth it Verna. Dust yourself off and get back up. And I'm with you, a buddy to loose the weight with.
    1224 days ago
    emoticon To yourself and to us...a good reminder we should all consider ourselves important and make sure to take care of ourselves. I treat my weight loss journey as a job-some days you love to do it and sometimes you don't- you just keep on doing it no matter what!
    Take it a day at a time and believe me that is not just a cliche, it works! Progress not perfection!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. Really appreciate it and glad you liked it. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1224 days ago
    Take care of yourself, Verna. emoticon
    1225 days ago
    Expect the best, prepare a back up plan and your day is never ruined. Hugs.
    1227 days ago
    I think we all need to write ourselves a letter now and then.
    1227 days ago
    Verna, your post touches many, myself included.
    I think making a promise to ourselves is a great way to keep on track.

    Hugs Susan
    1227 days ago
    We all are not so different after all! emoticon with the promise!
    1227 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15029098
    emoticon funny I thought it was just me that had people in my life that did that. I like the promise to yourself. emoticon
    1227 days ago
    Very nice letter, Verna, and it is good you found it.
    Thank you for sharing, and I hope it will help you follow your plans and be proud of yourself.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1227 days ago
    Thanks for sharing. Hmm friends?
    1227 days ago
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