How Do You Eat An Elephant?

Tuesday, February 06, 2018

How do you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

My mom always tells me that when I have a big task ahead of me.

I've been feeling impatient with the process, even though my results are really good. It's been 5 weeks, can't I just be totally transformed mentally and physically already?!?! I've been so good!

So I'm trying to focus on the positives.
My body is feeling stronger and healthier.
My digestion is all normal now.
Still alcohol free for 2018!
I feel good through a whole 60 min workout where 15 made me feel like I might die 2 months ago.
I'm feeling the difference in my clothes.
Dear Lover and family have started to comment on my weight loss (mine are all back in CA).
I can't believe how much money we are saving through meal planning and water drinking!
And, most importantly:
I'm alive, and (probably) healthy!!

I suppose this shouldn't come as much surprise, out of context...

I ended up in the ER with terrible lower abdominal pain a couple weeks ago. After 8 hours of extensive poking, prodding, and testing, I was declared too healthy to be sick or in pain, and sent home.

I was still in excruciating pain.
I called doctors and specialists and other hospitals, all of whom were incredibly gracious about going over all of my charts and recent test results, and all of whom came to the same conclusion: I am simply too healthy to be sick or in pain.

As validating as it was for my lifestyle changes to have the ask it nurse tell me she has never seen someone with such healthy scans and tests; to have pain no one can see or find a reason for is incredibly defeating. I couldn't decide if I was angry or scared or maybe I was imagining it.

For days I couldn't move more than a few steps and couldn't do anything but sleep and eat (fortunately my digestion and appetite were unaffected). It took close to 2 weeks for the pain to go away, and I still get pangs when I'm stressed.

There are lots of possible theories from the peanut gallery, some of them (endometriosis, for example) are quite possible, but can't be proven at the moment. I'm not looking for suggestions or theories here, please (unless you're a talented Michigan Dr interested in treating me for free!), I've had more of those than I can take for the time being, just sharing what I've been through recently.

Through all of this, and the birth of a new niece, (Check out the bassinet we refurbished for her!)

I managed, somehow, to stay dedicated to my healthier lifestyle.

I still drank only tea and water.
I chose healthy options and substitutions when we had to order in or eat out.
I resisted the temptation to emotionally eat.
I tried gentle yoga the first day I felt up to it and then my step workout the first day I felt up to that, but didn't allow myself to overdo it.
I found small craft projects I could work on while resting on the couch once I started to mend rather than taking the excuse to just be a slug.

I'm scared of not knowing what could hurt me so bad for so long, but I'm proud of the way I reacted to it.
The sobbing tantrum I threw telling staff they couldn't send me home in so much pain when they told me there was nothing more they could do for me at the hospital was not my finest moment...

AND, on a more positive note, once I was feeling a little better and able to go to a family bday party and to meet my new niece at the hospital, several people commented that I look like I've lost some weight!!!

19 lb and 7 in down so far!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are such a trooper!!! I pray that the doctors find out what is causing the pain. Congratulations on the nearly 20 pounds lost!!! You're doing great!!!
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    1231 days ago
    I went thru that with MDs and it took 8 years for my definitive diagnosis (and I worked in medicine with these folks, still "it was all in my head") So hang in there, you aren't crazy. The orders I would get at work for patients exams included "rule out pain" Uh Pain cannot be seen in X-rays, CTs, MRIs or Ultrasound! It cannot be ruled out. So if a cause isn't seen that does NOT mean a patient isn't in excruciationg pain. Honestly there is just so much they still don't know. And in my chart, my 2nd to last surgeon declaired me "hysterical" as I sat in an exam room crying for 35 minutes after being dismissed. Don't give a damn about any scene you may have to make about your health! My last surgeon took care of my problem and I have been nearly pain free since April 7, 2000. (just 2 minor bouts in the last 5 years just lasting a few hours)

    I wish you the best of luck!

    And you are awesome, BEAUTIFUL job on the bassinet!

    1233 days ago
    You are awesome!!! Congrats on staying on track even when it was really hard!
    1233 days ago
    Hope the pain stops! Definitely frustrating not to have an answer for the cause.

    HUGS and congrats on your new niece.
    1233 days ago
  • SUE5007
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    It is so easy to let one little thing slide when our routine changes (especially when we're sick) then another and another. Cheers to you for not letting that happen! emoticon That cradle is adorable, and your illustrations are awesome as usual. emoticon
    1233 days ago
    You are doing so well.
    I know you didn't want suggestions on the pain, but it sounds like the poking and prodding were part of the "cure." These things happen and it is good to get them checked out to make sure they are not serious.

    1233 days ago
    You can do it!
    1233 days ago
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