NANCYANNE55
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints 167,818
SparkPoints
 

Putting Resentments to Rest

Wednesday, May 02, 2018

So I've had an axe to grind with Spark for some time now. They used to have a trophy that was the at highest Spark point level. I can't even remember what the thing looked like- Gold? Silver? Chartreuse? I have no idea. I just knew that there was an ultimate level I could reach, and my goal was to get to that level and then enjoy sitting on the SparkPeople mountaintop and enjoying the view for eternity.

I was VERY active at this time- Frequent blogs, constant status updates, high group participation, logging every morsel I ate and exercise I performed. I was racking up points like it was no one's business.

But then they added new levels above the old "highest" one. And I realized that no matter how hard I worked to get to the highest level, the Spark gods were very likely to add more. So it was unlikely I would ever reach the ultimate mountaintop because the mountain would, most likely, continue to grow. I've never been one to chase an unachievable dream, so I walked away from Spark for a while. A long while, aside from the occasional check in.

Eventually I came back because I wanted to log my exercise, I believe. Then I got involved in a challenge. Then one thing, then another, and I've gradually been a presence here again, although not nearly as active as I used to be.

During this time I've rejoined Weight Watchers and my food logging is done on their app. I did log my food here at the beginning of this go-round with WW, as well, to check that the zero-point foods wouldn't equal so many calories that it would hinder my weight loss. They didn't, so I stopped logging here. It's was too time consuming to log this in two places.

I log my exercise in WW, but I do it here, too, because it's an easy and fast way to get points. But I no longer log each and every exercise in detail. I just put in "Stretching", "Strength training", "yoga", etc, and the minutes I did them.

I don't really participate on the message boards anymore, because I am doing that sort of things on WW Connect and again, I don't have time for both.

With this more moderate approach to Spark, I am still accumulatng points. My goal is to get enough each day to spin the bonus wheel. And none of these points are the "team points". I want to know that the points I have I earned through effort and participation. That's just me. You do you.

And now I a willing to rethink the "level" trophies: I still want to make it to the highest level. And when they add a new level, I want to make it to that level. Because you know what I've figured out? Life is more about the journey than the destination. And fitness is not a destination, it's a journey. All of it. Even maintenance is a never-ending, always changing and fluctuating journey.

Complacency in maintenance got me out of maintenance and back into weight loss category. Maybe if I hadn't gotten disgusted and just kept my focus on the next level up, even at my darkest times (which you can read about in a past blog here: www.sparkpeople.
com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=6059097
), I wouldn't have been as likely to gain weight back. Maybe I would have. But I certainly didn't earn any points by pouting.

That's all- Nothing in this blog is earth shattering or life changing. No lesson really to be taught or learned. Just me rambling about being all-in, all-out, and then moderate. Wanting the highest, trying for nothing, then settling on moderation. It's been a journey, but I learned something. So I guess that makes it worth it.

Whatever the case, I'm grateful that SparkPeople is still here. I'm grateful that all of YOU are still here. I'm grateful if you made it all the way through this blog to read to this point! Thanks for supporting me through all of my phases.

I'm blessed to still be here. And to be back. All at the same time.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ALICEALICEAN
    That's a great way in summing things up. I too left Spark for a year for a lot of reasons, and I gained back all the weight I lost! It's is great to find that Spark was here for me when I came back. Now, I am starting over!

    emoticon
    851 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/28/2018 5:31:57 PM
  • BELLACUDDLES
    I too am grateful for Spark and it's free! I look forward to the posts and contributing as well! It keeps me going!
    870 days ago
  • OHMEMEME
    Good thought processing! Expressing ourselves out loud in writing often helps us understand ourselves. So good job blogging!

    Glad to hear you are letting go of resentments, even the small ones that we think may not matter...we must train our brains for positive thinking and positive outcomes.

    I am so glad to have this Spark place, all for free. I don't really pay attention to points at all. Just not my game. Any program works if we work it. It's not the the program that gets the job done, it's the will, effort, work that we put into it that brings results. The broom doesn't sweep the floor on its own. Lol I've successfully done WW In the past. I do believe it's a good program and if that's your mainstay at this point, great! We each must do what works for us individually at the given time. That changes...just as all things in life. Go with it! Best wishes! But I do like knowing that Sparkers are still checking in here. I often wonder about old Spark friends that disappear. Thanks for checking in!

    emoticon
    874 days ago
  • ADF1981
    I am glad to see that you are back. So many of my spark friends are no longer active so it's nice to see posts from familiar faces. I stepped away as well for a while going through changes and some hard emotional things. I feel like it really helps me to blog, share, and give support when I can. Good luck with your new journey on spark!
    875 days ago
  • NANHBH
    I’m glad that you’re back - in moderation! I can be obsessive compulsive about points, too. But it never bothered me that the “top” kept moving. It just showed me that I can’t rest on my laurels. You are right that is a journey, not a destination!
    emoticon
    875 days ago
  • BERRY4
    emoticon
    Different subject, but similar focus on the fact that we are either going forward or "backward". There is no staying in one place while we are alive--hence the "journey"!
    emoticon
    Just found this today. It's somewhat of a pass-it-on:
    The Path of Intimacy: Your guide to a marriage filled with passion and connection (Igniting Intimacy Book 1)
    by Scott Means (Author)
    emoticon
    876 days ago
  • EO4WELLNESS
    Change, though a natural part of life, is not so fun some times. Glad you found your way through that. I had that happen too. I first started with Sparks under a different user name. Made it all the way to the top. Was pushed off. When I came back it was like, "what?" at the new levels, new format, etc.
    877 days ago
  • SUGIRL06
    So true! Even while I was gaining and not tracking and being too broken to exercise, I was still here on Spark People. This year will be 9 years on this website, through all of the ups and downs. It is my one constant in this journey!
    877 days ago
  • SPARKLE-IT
    I'm so thankful for SP. WW is great too and it works, but I can't deal with the cost. That's my biggest reason for liking SP so much along with all the people I've met and continue to meet here. I also prefer counting calories rather than points.

    What's important though is that whatever joirney we're on we make it work and enjoy it. God bless you!
    877 days ago
  • YMWONG22
    emoticon
    877 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.