I sometimes wonder..

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

I sometimes wonder what my house will look like when I am no longer here. ( I have cancer )
We have tried to declutter, but the DH is more interested in the garden and lawn than what has to be taken care of inside My energy level isn't great and I have physical limitations. Even opening a window puts a strain on my stoma.

There are 3 pieces of exercise equipment in the LR and 1 in the DR. A cart used to transport heavy items is in the foyer. Several items are stacked behind the sofa, which is part of a walkway. The bedroom he uses has stuff stacked on a table instead of in a closet. Lamp shade is on top of that and not on the lamp. The back bedroom is a mess also, including a new toilet for the 2nd bathroom He finally loaded the dishwasher, as the counter was getting full.

He's supposed to be learning how to take care of the mail, filing, bill paying, stuff that needs to be done throughout the year, quarterly stuff and annual stuff. Why do these things always fall on one spouse and not a shared responsibility?

Excuses I hear are, when it gets too cold or too hot out, when we get a rainy day. I have too many projects (painting the wire fence to keep rabbits out of the garden). If I go before he's fully trained he will have a lot of frustration in addition to grief.

Been trying to do my part getting file drawers organized, including a list of contents so he can find things easily. Same thing with the bookmarks on the computer. Been purging stuff I've put on the computer also. Was only of interest to me.

I could just say the heck with it and let him figure it out, but that would be frustrating for a 79 year old. I've always been there, done that for all our important financial and other paperwork.

Life will go on.

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  • no profile photo CD23252497
    My mom and dad are going through something similar. My dad has cancer and his brain aged 20 years from shrinkage in a 3 month period. He is now unable to work or drive or walk. My mom had to learn to pay the bills for the first time in her life. She is working on getting the house cleaned out so it will be easier to move somewhere smaller. You are not alone in your struggles.
    1132 days ago
    Maybe he doesn't want to deal with it because he doesn't want to deal with the fact you will be gone. He's pretending everything is like it always was. If cleaning everything out is that important to you, then hire someone to just get it done.
    1132 days ago
    Don't give up you can do it stand on faith.
    1132 days ago
  • SUZ_Z_Q
    There are companies that will come and help you get organized, given your specific situation they may do it for free or at a reduced cost. Live your life and love each day you are given. The details will handle themselves. Prayers for peace and healt
    1132 days ago
    Don't worry about the clutter or other items you can not do anything about. The worrying takes up to much time. The work can do with lists and such is good work. I bet you know you and your husband are dealing with the same problem in individual ways. Take care of yourself, you are so important .
    1132 days ago
    What you speak of is so daunting. I can not imagine how you feel with all you are facing . I will not give platitudes but pray that you can find someone to come along beside you both !
    1132 days ago
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