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A dream fulfilled

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Romeo & I, Halloween 2018

I didn't feel beautiful on my wedding day. I lost 40 lbs but was still 80 lbs overweight. I wanted a beautiful puffy ballgown - but went for the more figure flattering a-line instead. I couldn't justify the cost of store bought when I didn't think anything would look good anyhow. So my mother, who has decent sewing skills, made me simple dress. I'm a wedding photographer, but I didn't bother hiring one for my own wedding day. There are very few photos of us. None I really like. I always felt sad that I didn't get that fantasy photo-shoot in a fantasy dress.

For my 49th birthday, I decided to make that long time dream come true. I asked my friends and family to help me - my husband did a lot of the costume work, my niece was the photographer, my barn mate kept my safe by handling the horse between shoots, the barn where I board who lent me the location. I found what I needed at 2nd hand stores (including the wedding dress which I dyed purple) and made what I couldn't find. I edited the photo by cropping out the power lines & adding in the castle & moon.

This photo is a celebration of the body I have spent the last 8 years creating. I have had many ups and downs on this road, but today I am able to just savour the moment. I love how I look in my pictures. What a joy that is. My body isn't perfect and I'm still too heavy according to the charts but that's ok. What I love most about my body is that I am free to move and actually enjoy active pursuits. But what I love 2nd most is that I don't feel shame any more when I look at my photos.

2015 10 years later, but same weight as when I got married.

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