AMBERWAS117KGS
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Going fine... then binging... again... but I am still proud

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

I know it is something that I need professional help with but it gets me so down. It's only been once but it was about 2500cal worth! Earlier on in the day, I had a lil party food because I couldn't help myself but made sure I wasn't blowing my goals, at least not by much.... but then all my willpower against that chocolate had disappeared, I couldn't stop eating, even when I felt like I was about to bring it all back up, I made sure I ate them all! I regretted it before it even touched my tongue. I felt guilty as hell the whole time. My scales.... well they told me off for sure! By the morning I had a 2kg gain 😵 I had worked so hard to get to that 10kg loss that I had for 2 mornings running and it felt like a lot of hard work getting through the sugar withdrawals (which really cemented how bad my previous diet was) and now.... while I did jump straight back on the wagon and am back down to a 10kg loss, I feel disappointed in myself for giving in and binging as usual. I am still proud of my 10kg loss and I am proud of how well I have done to reach my first goal. I am proud of the ways my kids have reacted to more better choices, even when it means most the salad stuff seems to suddenly disappear lol. I am proud that I am getting in more movement. I am proud that I am trying new foods and new combinations of foods. I am proud that I still logged my indiscretions and I am proud I jumped straight back on. I am also proud of my hubby who has been a support and has lost some weight himself. I am really glad that we have started to set a better example for our kids, both food and exercise wise :)
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