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Direct affects......

Wednesday, January 02, 2019

Sitting home this evening, received a text from out local sheriff dept. saying that roads are getting ice covered. I normally am out in the road in the late evening, but decided that, no I need to stay in. Now, bare with me. Flash back 20 years to when my children were toddlers. This was also the time that, no matter where we would go, I would have to make a stop at a gas station, fast food restaurant, or somewhere not healthy. Because I’m the business of life and being a single parent, this is what I thought was to be the normal. I was at that time between 400 and 430 lbs. and to be honest, looking back, I was far from happy, I was miserable inside and out. I disliked myself as much as I disliked everyone else, for really no other reason than i was trapped inside something I couldn’t escape. Emotional eating, stress eating, comfort eating, and eating to spend time with my family, had me so trapped. I had no idea what that was causing or teaching, and tonight, it’s hit me. Forward now to tonight.... as I announce that no trip to town as I wasn’t working my part time job because of the weather, my youngest child, upset, not worried about the roads, not worried about our/my safety, replied with, “but you told me you would take me to get food.” My heart sunk, not mad at her at all. But, upset at myself that, in the grand scheme of what I thought was me spending time with my kids and making memories, which we in the eye of things did, but, I also was teaching my children the bad health, the addictions to food that I so have battled over the years. I far from ever thought about the direct affects those choices would make, even into their adulthood and with my weight loss and new Healthy habits. Just had to share.
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