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Day 63 (relapse)

Thursday, March 07, 2019

INT. CLUB - NIGHT. A DJ spins heavy bass techno rap beats in a dark neon lit club setting. Our protagonist follows the carpeted floors all the way to end until they meet the smooth, slick dance floor. The club is jumping, bass is thumping, her blood is pumping. She makes her way to the middle of the floor and the music stops, a spotlight hits her, she feels the tension and heat as the DJ calls her out. DJ: Well look whose here! I thought you were done living this life, I thought we weren't good enough for you anymore. The heat of the spotlight would be melting her makeup if she'd bothered to wear any. She stands in her most comfiest pajamas and pig slippers, greasy hair in a top knot. Sarah: Yeah well, I'm back, DJ Frickle Frackle. And we can stand here and catch up like two old ladies or we can do what everyone came here for.... DJ FF and Sarah stand in a tense pause making unflinching eye contact Sarah: We can PAAARTAAAY!! The beat starts again, as the whole club woo's and hoo's her return. Sodas are being poured like it's the last night of the year, chips, chocolate covered almonds and cashews are being passed around openly. Sarah climbs onto the DJ's stage and grabs the Mic Sarah: I came here to get wasted and if I gotta start it so be it (she points towards the kitchen) fry cook! Lets get a round of quesaritos on me! The club erupts as Sarah huffs and puffs her way back down the stairs. She stops, a smile still reminiscent on her face as she begins to feel the guilt set in. An overweight middle aged man stands next to her and places his arm around her shoulder Man: Welcome back to Club Relapse. And..... Scene! Yes, I let my cheat day turn into a 4 day weekend. I'm 311. Barf. Almost back to where I started! I meet with CC in 2 hours and I'm not looking forward to the weigh in. There is still a positive part of this: I never missed yoga or high knees. At least I'm establishing exercise habits. But thats the only positive. I may have more of an addiction than I realize. Something to talk to CC about. How do you even handle a food addiction? Do you pick just one food you don't like and eat that? Seriously, how do you treat it? I'll be doing my research tonight I'm sure. Anyway, I hope you're doing better than me! Sarah
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SLIDER72
    Yes, food addiction is a super tough nut to crack. Because at a point you may not give a darn about anything or anyone just to feed a craving. I’ve been there and it is a powerful addiction. Point is though that you may have to try a few times, but it is possible to break the cycle. If you fall off the wagon for 4 days, maybe next time its only 3 times, then 2..... most important, don’t beat yourself up, believe that you can do this. Almost 30 years since I entered obesity, I am still battling the same.
    784 days ago
    Very well written metaphor on relapsing.

    I would definitely speak with someone about the possible food addiction.

    By setting up a consistent exercise routine, you really are taking a good step imho.

    Personally, the greatest reality of my weigh-loss journey is that I've never come within 25 pounds of my starting-starting weight of 250+ lbs. That came by establishing some very healthy daily eating patterns that became too hard to break (going back was too gross). These were patterns that were established and built one at a time over a year.

    I will review your blogs from when last I was on, but if you are trying to change too much too fast then this journey will continue to be a struggle.
    791 days ago
    Its in the past now darling girl. Let it go but remember the way it felt and try to use. That next time you want to visit that club. Stay in this club darling girl. Rooting for you always!!!❤❤❤🌴🌴🌴
    793 days ago
    Patience and persistence
    793 days ago
  • CINDY247
    One day at a time Keep on Sparking!!
    793 days ago
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