SHINEFROMWITHIN
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what’s harder?

Sunday, October 20, 2019

Hello Sparkers! What is harder? Now, you’d think I would pose the usual question of dieting and exercising vs. hating how you look/feel in clothes... But I want to pose something else to you - something that I’ve been working through my own mind. Is it harder to learn to love yourself or is it harder to hate yourself and deal with the depression and anxiety that comes from the hate? It’s so easy to stare into a mirror and pick ourselves apart, comparing ourselves to models and actors and Instagram influencers. It’s much harder to train our brains to love and accept who we are and enjoy our bodies. But...is it really harder? I’ve really gotten myself into deep, dark pits of depression by hating myself; by hating the number on the scale or the number on my jeans; by hating the extra on my body and face; by hating that I can’t look the way I wish I looked. And then, I decided I was done. I was done hating myself. I was done trying to force into deadlines and goals just to be happy with myself. I was done tracking calories and macros and exercised minutes and steps. The moment I made that decision, my soul felt lighter. I am who I am. I am a loving wife. I am a good sister. I am a caring daughter. I am a fun friend. I am a hard worker. I am more than just what is seen in a mirror.
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