It's supposed to get easier, isn't it?
I've been away since October. Traveling, at first. Traveling was decadent. "I'm on vacation!" I'd shout with glee as I stuffed every foreign, blessed vegan treat down my gullet. But I walked miles per day. Every day.
Home again, I thought I'd give my weary feet, longing heart and jet-lagged self a break. That break lasted a long while.
Isn't it weird how SparkPeople can be the most lively, caring and wonderful space when we're on a good path - and a looming monolith of intimidation when we're not?
I'm really not complaining; I'm just taking a good, long, searching look at myself. I'm tipping a toe into the pond as I've done countless times before.
Before I completely recommit though, I want to take an honest inventory of why. I want to include all the thoughts and facts about my health and lifestyle, while wrestling with all of my concerns about self-acceptance and the societal fat-shaming that I hate - and the ways Diet Culture play into it.
No matter where I go, Spark and my teams and my friends here await patiently.
Thank you, my friends.
"It doesn't hurt me
Do you want to feel how it feels?
Do you want to know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?
You, it's you and me" - Kate Bush "Running up That Hill"