RECOVERYMAMA
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Life on Life's Terms...

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

...isn't always easy. Have had a couple of freak-out moments since last night. And had to spend lunch today on a chat with my sponsor.

Life overall is good. My kid is amazing, healthy and happy. I'm doing well in the healthy lifestyle changes, losing weight, improving my fitness. My recovery is good, still involved and happy to be.

And then life throws ya these BIG curveballs. The electricity in my house is unsafe. It needs to be completely rewired. It's been becoming more apparent over the last couple months that something bad is going on -- lights flicker in the house or won't turn on, I can't run the electric heater in the living room, since it appears to drain too much electricity (and it's new), I smelled burning plastic in one evening when we had a strange power surge through the lights... And finally got an electrician who could be honest with us last night have a look-see. Yes, my house is unsafe to live in. My landlord is looking into an equity loan to get it repaired, but that won't begin to be addressed until January.

In the meantime, I have a holiday break from work coming up and I feel unsafe in the house I've lived in for ten years. I have NO idea what the eventual outcome is going to be. It may be that I have to move. I honestly don't know.

And let's be real honest here, my relationship with my Higher Power has not truly recovered from the loss of my daughter, so I am not really trusting of it/him/dude/what the heck ever. What I do trust is there is a HP, that my sponsor believes in it, so I will choose to have faith in that.

For me that means that I keep acting as-if... as if everything is going to be worked out and ok. That we will find the right solution, whatever that is, and my youngest daughter will be safe wherever we live. However that happens.

Freak-out averted for the time being. I just needed to write all that down.

Have a Happy Christmas, y'all. thanks to all who actually still listen.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CASEYSAUER
    Change is uncomfortable. Moving sucks. The H.P. has a plan and as with most parents, it may not choose to inform you why you need to do this. You know....like when you say to your kid “because I said so!”
    286 days ago
  • ARNETTELEE
    It's always nice to hear from you. Merry Christmas.

    I hope things work out for you, especially with your living arrangements. You don't want to deal with unstable electricity. Take time to think about yourself, and I know your loss is still on your mind, but I am hopeful that things will be looking up for you. Take care and hope the new year brings better things for you and yours.
    314 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/18/2019 9:22:10 PM
  • LINDA!
    I do hope that your landlord can get this taken care of ASAP. I would hate for anything bad to happen to you and your daughter. emoticon
    315 days ago
  • PACEKA1
    I love your positive attitude even in the face of a freak-out! Your electricity story hits pretty close to home. Last winter when we were having the coldest winter in YEARS, our electricity started acting strange. The lights were flickering, we couldn't use the vacuum cleaner if the dryer was going, and the microwave sometimes worked and sometimes didn't. We called an electrician and yes, something was wrong. When someone hooked up the box outside they cut off 4 or the 7 connecting wires and that had finally worn out. So that had to be replaced as well as several breakers inside. Very shortly after that my husband got very ill, he was so sick that I wasn't sure he was going to make it! But, the good news is that things started taking on a positive spin. We got a team of home healthcare aids who visited regularly. He began to improve. They figured out what was wrong with him and he had surgery in July - and now life is actually better than it's been in a long time. Seems we had to go through the fire to learn. Life is a little bit different, but it is also a little bit better!

    Good luck to you. I hope your landlord gets the funds to take care of this quickly. I agree with SLIMMERJESSE above, you need to document everything just in case.
    315 days ago
  • SPICY23
    emoticon Hoping you are right about the higher power. Hard to have faith after a critical loss. Keep dialoguing with your sponsor and see about a back-up safe place to be until your home can be made safe - what would your landlord recommend? or provide?

    Peace and Care
    315 days ago
  • SLIMMERJESSE
    Your landlord is responsible for your safety. Try to get the electrician to write down on the estimate that the house is unsafe to live in so it is documented. I am concerned for you and feel that your landlord should get you into another place immediately. I understand all you said here and can read between the lines. You are doing your best in every way. I hope you stay safe.
    315 days ago
  • CBLACKBURN1958
    good things into focus for you. Pray for guidance. It will come!!😀🙏
    315 days ago
  • CBLACKBURN1958
    Hang in there! Trust thst Higher Power, and believe that there us a reason for everything and that it all works out for goof, as long as you believe and LISTEN to that still small voice. Maybe a change of residence is what you need to bring other goo
    315 days ago
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