Day 44: Practicing Lovingkindness
Friday, January 24, 2020
The Geodon seems to be working--almost too well. My brain slowed down and I slept a bunch yesterday and didn't get up until 5 this morning and then felt super sleepy and groggy when I did wake up and it was hard to exercise this morning but when I did it did wake me up a little bit. But I do have a lot more focus and concentration now and I've been able to get back to doing my normal activities now.
I did a few minutes of a cardio workout yesterday but my legs were hurting me a lot for some reason so I wasn't able to finish it and then I did most of a yoga video but then my internet went out so I wasn't able to finish that either. So yesterday wasn't a great day for exercise. I did a core workout this morning and I felt like I was a little sloppy on it but I did do the whole thing. Exercise doesn't feel like it's going as well as it was. I know I'm still exercising 5-6 days a week but it just feels like I'm not working out as hard or exercising as often. Maybe it's because I'm mostly only working out once a day instead of twice a day now or because I'm only doing one workout when I do workout instead of 2 or 3. I've dialed it back quite a bit with my workouts just because of the pain I was having in my ribs and back and I really do miss that level of intensity with my workouts.
Nutrition is a little off, have had a little more appetite lately. Doing better with sodium but really need to work on fat and sugars and getting my fibre back up. I think I was going more to fatty sugary foods because I was manic and needing more calories (energy) to keep going so hopefully I can bring down my stats now. I also didn't get many steps yesterday, only about 2K since my focus was just off.
Calories 2698 (Goal 2240-2590)
Fat 123 (Goal 50-101)
Carbs 330 (Goal 252-421)
Protein 72 (Goal 60-227)
Fibre 13 (Goal 25-35)
Sodium 3842 (Goal 500-2300)
Sugars 133 (Goal 0-90)
I've been focusing on lovingkindness and compassion lately in my mindfulness practice as well as tranquil abiding and special insight. So I've been doing a lot of lovingkindness meditations and have increased my meditation time from 5 min to 10 min. Yesterday I did a lovingkindness meditation, and a "Naming Emotions" meditation.
I read two chapters of The World of Tibetan Buddhism and am almost finished with it and one chapter of White. My analytical skills are improving and my memory seems to be slightly better. I'm retaining more of what I read.
I listened to a podcast on training as a lifestyle and one news podcast last night and the training podcast was really good. It made me think about what makes a weight loss journey successful: thinking in terms of living the life you want rather than setting goals. If you're just out to achieve a goal with a start and an ending then eventually you'll stop exercising and regain the weight and lose your level of fitness. But if you make fitness your life then it's always going to be there for you.
Sunday is my next nonsmoking day. I haven't done very well with nonsmoking days lately and I'm going to start putting more effort into that. I didn't smoke really yesterday afternoon or this morning and probably won't smoke till this afternoon and I'm going to put some more genuine effort into having smoke free days and moving more towards quitting.
I actually don't remember if I drank water yesterday or not but I did drink two glasses this morning. I'm going to try to focus more on drinking water because that's something that has kind of been pushed to the side lately.
That's all for now. More later.