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Something to get off my chest

Sunday, March 01, 2020

This week's challenge... blogging. I'm really not much of a blogger but today at least I have something to get off my chest.

I'm anxious. Why you might ask? Well I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow. Normally I kinda look forward to them. Usually they bring half decent news with them. This one might be different. You see, last week I found a lump on my vulva. It's small, only about the size of a pea, but it's there nonetheless. I'm hoping it's just a benign cyst, that would be the most preferred outcome, but let's face it, there's a chance it's cancer. It's something I don't even want to think about. And yet, I can't stop thinking about it. How do I stop? There's nothing I can do about it, at least until tomorrow, so why am I so worried? Right now I'm contemplating the mundane. Do I shower tonight? Do I shower tomorrow? Do I go to the gym before the appointment? I usually do Spin on Mondays but I think it's cutting it too close to the appointment. I could go spin on my own, early or maybe hit the elliptical. But I just don't know what to do. I'm not sure I can focus well enough to work out. I just keep going back to that lump. Wondering what exactly it could be and even how long has it been there without my noticing. Well, I'm sure you've heard enough of my rambling thoughts. In any case, I'll be back tomorrow afternoon with an update. Wish me luck!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'd worry about you if you didn't worry. It would be bizarre to feel no anxiety and just ignore symptoms. Your worry comes from caring about your health and yourself--that may be an uncomfortable thing, but it is a good thing. Hoping and praying all goes well for you and you feel nothing but joy and relief when this is all over. If all is well, buy yourself something extravagantly nice to celebrate; if all isn't well, then buy yourself something even more extravagantly nice to celebrate being a smart and mature person who will work with your doctors to get the help you need.
    516 days ago
  • ELSCO55
    It's hard not to worry but it will drive you nuts. Been there and worrying seems to always be lurking in my mind. You are already on track with the appointment. Praying for you to have a restful night.
    517 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15936081
    Oh HUGS. A bump is not necessarily cancerous, unless that is what your gynecologist told you is a very real possibility. I had a bump and it was--tah dah, a blocked gland! Yes women have glands that secrete lubrication in those areas and they do get blocked. I have a recurring cyst, and I KNOW I should shower after I get all sweaty in that area but I don't always do so until before I go to bed.

    Good luck and look on the bright side until you know what's going on for sure. "Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere."--Erma Bombeck
    517 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/1/2020 7:45:03 PM
    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)
    Worrying about the lump/cyst will not change anything---take your worries to God in prayer and leave them there. He's much better equipped to handle our problems than we are and He WANTS WHAT'S BEST FOR US!
    I pray that all goes well at your appointment tomorrow and the cyst is indeed benign. Have a blessed evening.
    517 days ago
    Hopefully it's a cyst. They happen often and most of the time it's that or something similar. It's so scary to hear the word "Cancer" and that's where almost all our minds FIRST go to. Yet, it's not common for most of us to have.

    I heard a story of a woman who had such an appointment, so she showered and got all ready right before she left. Using something nice for the downtown area. But, not flowery

    As her gyno (male) was doing his thing, she could tell he was trying hard to not laugh. She couldn't figure it out, and was embarrassed. When he finished she quietly asked him "Is everything okay?" "Everything is fine, but that was quite the party!" She was puzzled. Than she looked. She had grabbed by accident a GLITTER downtown cleaner!! SPARKLES!!

    He did thank her.

    I'd shower right before I left, but if you want to stop at the gym, would you have time to do a quick refreshing? I'd do that if I could.

    Remember please our minds go to the WORSE CASE scenario almost always first. Rarely is it. Dr Google is HORRIBLE about scaring people!! I IGNORE Dr Google with it's scares.
    517 days ago
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