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I'm Not OK...

Thursday, March 05, 2020

...but I'm trying to be ok with that this week. It has definitely been a "not ok" week. I have been extremely fatigued with no explanation. Nothing has happened out of the ordinary. Sometimes I just wake up and hit a wall. Tuesday, I started going downhill during work, and by the time I got home, I had to go to bed. Woke up the next morning and couldn't get out of bed; extremely fatigued and aching all over. Stayed in bed all day yesterday and called off work. Finally got up yesterday around 5 to have supper. Today, still tired, but I was actually able to get up and come to work. I don't know why this happens sometimes. I was hoping it would get better with the new eating plan, but I guess not. I am trying to keep my chin up and not let it get me too down in the dumps.

I have another appointment tomorrow to get me ready to start my weekly chelation treatments. Also, have a follow up with my oncologist, so will be missing work again.

Last night, I had a dream that I got fired from my job. I love my job and woke up really upset. When I got to work this morning and caught up with all of my missed emails from yesterday, I realized I had overlooked a very important project that I was supposed to do last week! I thought, "Oh great, so this is why I get fired!" Anyway, I cleared away everything else I was working on to focus on getting this done, but it is has several components and involves me getting signatures from every teacher on the campus as well as all of the administrators. It is very time consuming! I emailed my boss to fess up to my mistake, but have not heard back from her. I am sure I will not get fired, but I am very disappointed in myself as I take great pride in being really good at my job, and I really messed this one up.

As far as the diet goes, the scale is stuck. I am following my plan but it is just not moving. I usually don't get stuck this early in the game, so I don't know what's going on. I did try a kettlebell workout with Itty Bitty, but did not get very far. Between the fatigue I was already feeling and me probably being the weakest I have ever been in my life due to illness, it did not go well. I will need to start with something a little more gentle and work back up to kettlebells. I will say that Ittly Bitty (now 15) was very impressed that I used to do this workout in my 40s. She couldn't even get through the entire video! emoticon emoticon

I guess that is all for now. Please pray for me that this fatigue will not last too long and I will be able to get back to my life.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hey! Did your energy issue get resolved? You kind of left us hangin', LOL. Sometimes I'm like that and I was just wondering what it turned out to be. Hope you are ok!

    481 days ago
    In my eyes you are definitely OK! You are dealing with so many issues and sounds like you are doing an amazing job. You are an amazingly strong woman. I send you hugs and prayers.
    505 days ago
    I am sorry that you are not doing well but I am so glad that you blogged about it so that there are people on here who can support you (like me). The scale has not moved much for me either. I am just going to relax and when it does start to go down I will be happy. I hope that you go to a doctor and tell him your symptoms. I would say gentle yoga moves to start such as the down dog and tree poses. Yoga really does work. I will be in prayer for you!
    505 days ago
    HUGS and prayers for you, my dear. How utterly frustrating it has to be to have such fatigue. Hope the problem is solved so you get some more energy!

    505 days ago
  • MSHEL7
    Praying for you for sure, I'm so sorry that you've hit a wall this week. Best thing you can do for you is get rest, don't push too hard too soon. And, for work, best thing you can do is what you did, fess up and move on. We all make mistakes, we are all human. I'm sure it will all work out.

    Take care of you.
    505 days ago
    Praying for you. Sometimes when we're really tired like you describe, it's our body's way of telling us we need to rest a bit. ::hugs::
    505 days ago
    emoticon You are in my prayers. Fatigue is so frustrating especially when one wants to live life to the fullest.

    I'm sure the scale will catch up with your eating plan. Your body is probably going, huh? What is this new thing you are doing and its trying to save itself - ha!

    Remember you are only human. I hate it when I make mistakes like that at work too but you did the right thing owning up to it and getting started on it. I can relate big time!

    505 days ago
    I hope you are able to get some rest this weekend and your energy increases!
    505 days ago
    MAN OH MAN................................

    JUST FINISHED PRAYING FOR YOU. May YHWH lift you up and put His arms around you, strengthen and heal you.

    After reading your blog I totally understand the "I'M NOT OK" statement. In times like this, when my spirit, heart and soul are so beaten down, it has taken me prayer and reading the bible at least 3 times a day (ie morning, noon & night); plus a lot of vitamin C (as much as I can tolerate; chlorophyll, and vitamin Bs.

    I've also dealt with the work stress/anxiety issues until I wish I was dead -unfortunately. Very low period in my life.

    Hang in there, never give up & never give in. I'll try to read through your old blogs to try & get to know you better & check in periodically.

    505 days ago
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