I just counted and it's been nine weeks now of pandemic quarantine. I have totally lost my way, not because of stress, although this pandemic is scary, I'm not all that worried about me. I do worry about others, Duane with his cancer is especially susceptible. He goes out more than me, cause he visits the doctors still, while I wait in the car. We go to the grocery store about once every two weeks, and occasionally pick up food. Other than that, we haven't been out much. On May 5, my grandson Noah turned 6, and we delivered his presents to his porch. He came out to the car and said 'HI' along with his sister Amber and mom Laura. Gosh it was good to see them! Can't wait to give them all a big hug! Maybe we can have a party to celebrate the Fourth of July? Or that might be too soon--that's what makes this even worse, you don't know when it will end.
Here's the three of them (Noah, Laura and Amber) in a selfie Laura posted on Facebook of their nightly walk around the neighborhood.
But I swear the stress of the virus is not what has gotten me off track. It's the boredom. And my life is not all that different form before. I'm retired, so I never went out a lot. But I've always been a boredom eater. Since there's no excursions or trips to look forward to, I focus on eating. And I've been weak at the grocery store, buying treats I don't know. Then I find old mixes in my cupboards (lemon bars, etc.) and fix them and eat most of them. Not only that, but I find treats to order from Amazon. How sad is that?
I've always been brutally honest here, and I will tell you in the 9 weeks of quarantine, I have gained 25 lbs. Twenty-five UGLY pounds. My clothes are getting tight, and I've bought so many new pretty things, since I was at goal when this whole thing started I found all kinds of new tops, etc. on-line, Christopher and Banks is my favorite place to on-line shop. I don't think there's much left in that on-line store that I haven't bought. So to make sure everything will keep fitting, not to mention all the old clothes that finally fit again after my WW weight loss, I need to get back to that WW Lifetime weight. Every night in bed I make plans to do better the next day and everyday I cave. But today will be different!!!
This morning, I was laying in bed long after I should have been up, and my Fitbit vibrated. It was my friend Deb, who's been my friend since high school and we have gotten close again since we are both WW Lifetimers, reminding me of our Zoom WW Meeting at 9:30. It was already 9:24, but I jumped up and got dressed and came downstairs and got on the meeting, just a few minutes late. It was a good meeting, as always. Joann (workshop facilitator) was talking about getting enough sleep being important to weight loss/maintenance. Well that is not my problem. Sometimes I struggle falling to sleep or falling back to sleep after waking up in the middle of the night, but I can sleep in almost every morning, so even if I'm up 3 hours in the middle of the night, I can make it up later. It's quite a luxury, and one of the many reasons I LOVE retirement. But afterwards, Deb and I texted about our struggles. She really motivated me today, more than anything else. For one thing, I feel I need to be accountable to her, and don't want to disappoint her. At that first weigh-in when we finally go back, I don't want to be as far over as goal as I am right now. She says she is struggling, but I know she is closer to her Lifetime weight, much closer than I am. WW won't meet again in person at least until the first of June, that's where it stands with WW now, however that may be delayed. When I heard the end of April that we wouldn't be meeting in person for at least another month, until June 1, it seemed to give me permission to keep binging, instead of thinking, "Alright--a month more to get back to my Lifetime weight!" So binge some more I did. Each day seemed to get worse. I just stuffed my mouth constantly. I was never hungry at mealtime because of all my snacking and yet I managed to eat the meal I prepared for Du and I, and afterwards just felt uncomfortably STUFFED! Food didn't even taste that good anymore cause I was always so full. But Deb has set a goal for herself to track at least 4 days next week, which I agreed to do as well. I hope to track every single day though, it is for the best if I try to get back on track, because I know if I let myself NOT track even one day, I really struggle to get back on track the next day. Best for me to do it 100%!
Okay--Just ate my first frozen grape. I've heard about these for years, here and at WW, and they are every bit as delicious as everyone said. Now that's a 0 pt. snack and I'm a huge grape fan. However, the grapes I eat fresh, have to be just perfect: firm, and sweet and I prefer the black grapes. It's hard to find JUST the right ones. If they're soft I don't like them. These are grapes I froze about a week ago and just now remembered, they are the black ones. The texture doesn't matter as much evidently when they're frozen. This will be a nice snack to fill in for all the crap I've been stuffing in my mouth!
In my Facebook memories today, this picture came up.
I am not in this picture, I evidently was the picture taker, as usual. From the left, it's Genger, Deb (my WW buddy--she's the blond in sunglasses), my BFF Beth, the brunette in sunglasses and Nancy, in the red hat and maroon Waverly High School letter jacket. I joked that we invented the RED Hat club, when we were all just 18 years old. Today Beth is 69 (like I turned in Jan.), and I will give her a phone call later. She and I can talk forever, even when we haven't spoken for month or years. We don't let it go years between calls and/or visits anymore, which is nice. She lives in Omaha, 50 miles down Interstate 80, so we try to get together every once in a while. Planning last year's 50th High School Reunion led to many visits, and that was great. I would like to keep that going after this Pandemic is finally over. The five of us went to Lake Okoboji in Iowa between our Baccalaureate and Graduation Ceremonies in May of 1969. It was the last time we were really together at best high school buddies, and I will never forget the fun we had. It was all sweet innocent fun, we were so young, but not into drugs/alcohol at all. We just laughed and enjoyed being on our own for the first time. The trip was only 5 days long, but I will remember it forever.
Well, it's 3:00 p.m., and I haven't binged yet. Wish me luck. I don't want this weight gain to get as large as last time--I want to be able to get it off quickly and get right back to maintenance. As Deb texted me this morning, "WE CAN DO THIS!"