Saturday, May 23, 2020
My people were VERY annoying yesterday!! Both of them. Really.
First of all: breakfast was only two small scoops of chow.
Then SHE was digging in the garden with the big metal thing and I wanted to show her how much better I can dig with my paws, or even just snouting for heaven's sake . . . why doesn't SHE use her paws? or HER snout? so much better!! And SHE was all "Not here, Henry!!" and "Look at your face, Henry!!" and Look at your paws, Henry!!" and SHE wouldn't let me dig at all!! How come SHE can dig and I can't dig???? How fair is that, I ask you??
And then lunch was only two more small scoops.
And then we did go for a long walk and that was good. Plenty of snuffing time. I have trained HER pretty well with that . . . and I tried to reward HER with no yanking. Just kinda showing her what fair is, ya know.
But when I had my supper, not so good: it was still just two small scoops, if you can believe it. Only two small scoops.
And after that, THEY went out, I heard them say something about golf.
THEY did leave me a chew treat, I will give them that . . . or THEY gave me that. Fair enough, they were having that golf treat apparently, whatever that is.
But when THEY got home: THEY had supper. THEY warmed up some chicken, THEY warmed up some potatoes, and some veggies, and THEY sat down to eat and I was still feeling a bit peckish, of course I was, supper had been a LOOOOOOOONG time ago and not nearly enough. But did THEY offer me any? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Well then, easy peasy. I stood on my hind legs and fished the Jcloth out of the sink. Then I pounced and bounced around the kitchen. And when HE got distracted and tried to grab the Jcloth back from me (something about maybe I'd eat it, AS IF!! When there's chicken on the table??) . . . . Well, I just pounced and bounced some more.
Yup. THEY are so slow, THEY really are. Slow moving, ya know (maybe they were stiff?) AND really slow, like, between the ears . (Did I mention, their ears are funny looking things, no proper furry flaps or anything. And as for tails? Well, it would be cruel to note that key omission, so I won't.)
Yeah, when HE started chasing me around the kitchen, I just moved in quick quick quick and jumped right up on his chair and stuck my snout in his plate and grabbed his chicken. Well, only one piece of his chicken. HE had two. TWO. HE didn't need both of 'em!! I did, but I left him a piece . . . . fair is fair.
OH the SCREECHING!!
HENRY!!! HENRY!!!! HENRY!!!!!
But it was worth it. It really was. Mmmmmmmmm. Chicken!!!! DELISH!!!!!
Yup, I even crunched up the bone. I know, I know, MORE screeching. SHE was yelping, "I think he's got the bone!! Chicken bones aren't good for dogs!!"
And then HE put his foot down on top of MY chicken. And then SHE put my chicken -- what was left of it, thankfully not very much -- in the garbage!! What a travesty!! Yes, a total travesty!!
Oh well. Oh well. Oh well.
(I hear HER saying that all the time!)
Maybe they'll do better today???