Staying Positive in 2020?

Hey again! Tomorrow is August 1st of 2020! I can't believe it. I just had my 35th Birthday a couple weeks ago. Time is still flying by.

Overall, my life is fine. It isn't the best, isn't the worst, isn't very exciting. I am still going to work every day although we are still in pandemic mode in the US. I wear my mask, clean my hands, wipe down everything, and still try to keep on going. I feel like I am in a fog most of the time just drifting along trying to find an open patch of clarity.

My Dad has been having a lot of health issues recently which really stinks. I have seen my parents, but I try to keep my distance when possible. I have good and bad days like most people I know. I don't expect every day to be Exciting - but we had to cancel so much this year. I am trying to be content knowing we were fortunate enough over the years to even have parties and go on vacations. We only saw a few of our friends since March. I feel like I am just moving along without accomplishing much.

We have a semi-garden this year with some cucumbers, basil, dumpling squash, and a little bit of dill. I have mostly the same routine every day. Water the plants, work, go home, repeat. I miss having game nights and planning fun things to do with my family and friends. I can still talk to them, but it isn't the same as getting together and spending quality time together in person.

I keep falling off the horse, out of the wagon, getting stuck in the mud, etc etc. I *know* I have been having some depression and anxiety in my life which is causing me to stay lazy & unmotivated. Usually I am disappointed at myself when I gain weight. That disappointment usually pushes me to high gear... this time I just feel indifferent with gaining the weight back. I don't like it, but I am also somewhat content with just living my life. I have "restarted" my healthier lifestyle so many times because Life gets in the way.

I decided I really need to make a serious change in my lifestyle to get back on track. It has been 2 years now where I have been slowly gaining more weight and becoming physically lazy. This past Jan to June I lost 20 pounds in 6 months but gained 10 of it back in a month already.

I recently got a bonus from work. I saved most of it, but I am using some of the money towards some products to help kick start me back in gear. I've been too lazy to really meal prep so I just ordered a kit of frozen smoothie kits. I ordered some protein powder because the container I found in the back of the cabinet expired over a year ago! I am hoping spending a bit more money to kick start this good habit again will help me get back to being healthier with more energy!!!!!!! I am hoping making good choices will help me become more positive with my outlook on life right now!

I could do more, but I still worry about Covid. Maybe in the next few weeks I will feel better and will hopefully feel more like ME again.