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Free Your Mind

Tuesday, September 01, 2020

I hit a pretty big bump last night.

Been trying so hard to be good to my body, and succeeding/failing, succeeding/failing in a Sisyphean cycle - I was overwhelmed by hopelessness.

A love reminded me to be gentle and forgiving with myself, but that wasn't enough at the time to help me. I got stuck in the numerous "reasons" which, my love very gently pointed out, was its own cycle of blame, really.

"But I need to know whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" I wailed.

"Why?" he asked.

Well, uhm.... that's a good point.

I'm meditating with a leader who emphasizes that we get to a place of mindfulness acceptance. DBT works on a principle of radical acceptance.

Not that we don't want to - need to - advocate for change, justice, fairness! I don't mean acceptance as a cop-out to let cruelty and injustice win.

But as for me, and the whole cycle of health and beating myself up for not achieving it or doing it "right" or "perfectly" -

Well, non-judgmental acceptance would be a much better starting place.

"Free Your Mind" by En Vogue
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    There is always hope, even though the ups and downs of life come. Cherish your good days, and be extra kind to yourself during the down days.

    Sending love and peace to you. emoticon
    295 days ago
    this too shall pass. emoticon emoticon

    for me, I would like to know why... and I can overthink things... way too much... Sometimes, that why can't be known...sometimes in time it will reveal itself. Being kind, showing myself compassion, forgiveness allowing room to breathe...instead of letting Ms. Perfection trying to take control and put me into that vicious cycle that just tears me up inside. Sometimes, I do better with this and other times.. not so much...

    Hope you are in a better space today. emoticon
    313 days ago
  • ROBEC4175
    Your blogs are a favorite of mine.

    When I'm feeling less than, I ask myself what would I give up to be more than and the answer is always the same. Nothing. Not my eyesight, not my very capable body and not my caring personality.

    I have to remind myself over and over, especially when in the cycles that dip into the uncomfortable, we are perfect just the way we are.

    My day started out very bland and stagnant and uncomfortable and you presented a door to music and adventure. I'm always grateful when exposed to your words and I would not give that up to be more than.

    Because of you - today I heard an old favorite Free Your Mind and was introduced to Neneh Cherry and now I'm listening to Annie Lennox on Mavericks With Ari Melber.

    Sharing with you one of Annie Lennox's favorites: Here Comes the Rain Again (hope this link works)
    and she likes "any song" by Bob Marley because "he represents joy" and this is Three Little Birds

    We are perfect just the way we are. Sending you strength to power through this cycle. emoticon
    316 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/16/2020 12:46:15 PM
    DBT? I've been doing diary cards daily for the last 12 years! It's so helpful!

    Tara Brach, who has a lot to say about radical acceptance ( the title of her most known book- Radical Acceptance!), taught me about RAIN where the 'A' stands for Allow. She could have said Acceptance but didn't.

    The blame thing is powerful. This summer I thought I was growing but what I was doing was my default of pushing and driving myself hard. I called myself weak That's what I do. Then I realized that I had been kidding myself and all this energy and hardship I had created was the opposite of acceptance. I'm now trying to 'make friends' with my wonky brain that fizzles out every day in the early afternoon. I don't want my entire life to be a battle with myself. This is easier said than done. I find myself unconsciously playing tricks on myself so I can blame myself and ...well you know the story.

    You speak of hopelessness. Who doesn't feel this during a global pandemic while living in a divisive and violent nation? These are impossible and hard times. If hopelessness wasn't sometimes felt, I'd wonder if the person had a heart and a soul.

    I value you like crazy.
    328 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15559075
    Wow. Those lyrics are SOOOO powerful in today’s context, and so pure. It’s heartbreaking to see where we are 30 odd years down the line. Funnily enough, when I read your blog title the little jukebox in my head skipped ahead to the wrong song but from the same era “Get a life” by Soul II Soul, because of the line,

    emoticon Elevate your mind, free your soul emoticon

    It seems like those were more innocent times, but maybe I was just too young to know better.
    As for you sweetheart – listen to your love, and listen to you. You can do this. emoticon
    330 days ago
    One thing that struck me, when we are truly mindful, in the moment, accepting what it has to offer, we are not in a position of controlling the moment. We let it evolve on it's own. When we ask 'why', there is an element of feeling a need of control. When I think of the times I said 'why', I remember I was not in the moment but was looking for ways to control what was happening.

    We'll get through this. Your path is unwinding as it is meant to be.

    331 days ago
    331 days ago
  • LINDA!
    331 days ago
  • VHAYES04
    331 days ago
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