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A New Starting Point

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Friday, October 02, 2020

Long time no blog.

The last month has been hard. When my brother died August 12th, part of me thought it would be some huge shove into improving my own health. Why it wasn't, I don't know.

I still ate crappy food. I still exercised less than I should have. I maintained in the same 5 pound range that I have for over a year.

However, I also started classes a week after my brother died. I decided to go back to get a second Masters in Statistics with the goal of ultimately either teaching math at the college level or being able to eventually have a career in a statistics related field whether that's as an analyst, actuary, etc. Going back to school means I'm teaching two classes as a Graduate Teaching Assistant and I'm also taking two 6000 level courses that are proving to be quite difficult. I never realized how much calculus was involved in theoretical statistics and because the last time I took calculus was 2009, I'm really struggling.

All of this has lead me to put Henry back into preschool. I was really worried about it due to Covid and my parents helping to watch him also, and while I don't think he will get it or be greatly affected if he does, I couldn't forgive myself if my parents got it because of him. However, they reassured me that they were comfortable with it and think it would be good for me because I need extra time to study, do homework, and prepare my lessons. And I have definitely been doing that.

But on Wednesday, right after dropping Henry off I decided I was going to run a 5k, just to see how far my endurance had fallen and to establish a new starting point. See, when I was in the best shape during my weight loss journey from 2012-2016, I was running sub-28 minute 5ks and a half marathon in 2:28:39. On Wednesday, it took me 45:19 to run a 5k. And I should use the term run loosely, because that wasn't constant running. That was some running which was more like jogging, and some walking.

It is so obvious to be that I'm 90+ pounds overweight. My knees were screaming "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?" My back was aching, my hips were burning. I hate how far I've let myself fall.

But the point is I'm getting up.

Wednesday I did a 5k (we will call it a jog rather than a run)
Yesterday, I took two walks. 3 miles while Henry was in preschool and another 1.2 miles with him in the stroller in my neighborhood during the evening for a total of 4.2 miles.

Something I also need to remember is exercise is great and all but I will never outrun poor nutrition. So I really need to start focusing on making better food choices. And acknowledging when I snack mindlessly or binge on sugary junk.

Every restart I've had since I had Henry has been relatively unsuccessful. I just really want this time to be different. So here's hoping it will be.

Love you all Sparkfriends.
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