A little history about me..
I had a near death experience 1985.. I was hit on my motorcycle and it was a 70mph impact and I wasnt wearing a helmet. MOST people, unless youre a rider wont understand this, but when you wear a helmet, you dont have good peripheral vision, nor can you hear as well. It took me a year to recover through surgeries ands a full leg cast for that whole year. I was an excellent well seasoned rider, but its the other folks you have to watch out for. In this case, it happened so fast and there was no where for me to go, I was in Topanga Canyon in LA county with a mountain on my left and cliff on my right. So I had to hit her in the side of her car and I flew for several yards hitting the pavement full force.
After I was hit, and was flying, time stood still. after I had hit the ground, after I regained consciousness I was screaming with pain and in shock, I had a concussion and my leg was broken. It took forever for emergency to get to me coz it was a 2-lane and work hour traffic. It was very traumatic to my whole body. It was in the high 80's that day and I was freezing!
Over the years my body has been deteriorating. Especially the last 2 years at the speed of light.
I cant even do half the things I use to be able to do. I am in agony 24/7. Every single part of my body is suffering from the damage done. And the older I get the more unbearable it all is.
I have even screamed out in the night for God to have mercy and take my life, because I have no life anymore.
Sometimes, most of the time, Im so angry and frustrated this is happening to me. Im still angry with the woman who almost took my life and sentenced me to a life of pain and misery.
I received a financial settlement, but no amount of money can ever bring my body back to the way it was.
I dont have much hope left and am in deep depression.
Im having my first surgery Nov. 23rd., a total knee replacement. Then awhile later, the other knee, then my spine. I have degenerative disk disease and I suffer from sciatica also.
Every part of my entire body is in pain 24/7. I have lost space between the disks in my neck and spine, and have a ruptured, disk bulge.
I also have neurological problems where the nerves in my body get pinched all over even in my elbow.
Sometimes, I just want to take my own life away. Like right now.
I am not living anymore, Im just waking every day in agony.
Sorry but this is how I feel, and no one where I live understands my pain I live with. They think you are just complaining.
My bike was totalled, and so was I.
My friend took this pic of my motorcycle in the junk yard..