This year didn't start off as I had hoped but never the less it started. I had reached a mini goal of mine and was hoping to come into the new year at 179 after weighing in at 181 a few days prior to January 1st. But instead I gained and continue to gain all the way up to 190. I have done this twice already in the last two or three weeks. I know that my weight is not 190 but instead due to weight fluctuations and inflammation so I did not freak out to gain almost 9 pounds in a couple of days. But I have to admit it is frustrating I am highly prone to spontaneous decisions so I have learned to talk myself "down" and it has helped quite a bit. I still have a ways to go though and changing the way I react or feel about things is a big goal.
I exercise with Sydney Cummings on youtube every day and committ myself to staying with her until I reach my goal and after. She pushes me and keeps me mentally and physically challenged..
My eating has to stay consistent. I struggle with consistency and spontaneous eating like to have fun lets get an ice cream or go out to eat or getting a coffee. Not good if I want to stop this yo yo battle with myself. A treat occasionally is okay but I need to make this a mindset. Sometimes I think, I just want to eat and be free to enjoy life and not have to watch everything, but what is life without health? and I gain so fast that if I gave into this mentality I would gain mega weight in no time. Oh wait, I already did this and that is why I am here again after making it to the 170s I lost a few family members and said life is too short ;to limit myself and BAM! here I am.
2020 was hard and difficult and dark but 2021 is a new start. I will committ to myself and my family that we will get healthier and stronger together. Not only do I have to push myselff and motivate myself but I also need to push my kids to WANT to get heakthier and more fit. Due to covid they stay home sitting all the time, literally. My 12 year old daughter is a.most my weight and even though she says she wants to lose weight she doesn't want to exercise or put any effort into it. This is stressful, I really don't want her to go through what I did, always fighting the weight. The difference between me and her is that I wanted and did lose weight and worked hard for it. when I was her age. My husband told me the other day that for every step I go forward making myself better by exercising, my daughter is going backward. He is right I guess but what can I do if she refuses to cooperate. I am there trying but she just complains that I am trying to make herr be what I want her to be not what she wants to be. My oldest son is in shape and takes care of himself, my second oldest son now 19 has also suffered from the covid weight gain but is now trying to watch what he eats but exerciseis still an issue, my third son is growing like a weed so his weight is being stretched and he looks thin now. School will be starting and they are learning from home so that means a lot of sitting and the days are short and cold.
Food does not make me happy.
Exercise makes me feel great physically and mentally.
If I lose weight and be the number I want that doesn't mean I will be magically satisfied with myself, it is a lifetime journey that never stops.
Doing what is best for me and taking time to care about me is important.
Realizing that a number doesn't define who I am or if I am healthy or not and that only I have the powder to make myself better.
No resolutions for me, no fancy words or lists of things to accomplish. I want to live life to the fullest while taking care of myself and my family.
If you were able to make it through my blog thanks for reading. Please ignore any grammatical errors or spelling errors I tried
Ya'll have a good year in 2021 !