This Girl Can - Despite Self-Sabotage!
Friday, January 08, 2021
I have been incognito on SparkPeople for far too long. In some ways, that may not change because life is just overflowing. I was less than a month away from getting 365 daily spins. One day, I was on the site, but never did the initial spin and that streak was broken.
That broken streak was just one tiny aspect and not the biggest one. Off and on, I would watch what I was eating, occasionally have a spurt of exercise. And so it has been for far too long.
I still have a lot of weight to lose. This Girl Can! This month, next week, I think, is my 3 year anniversary of the gall bladder removal surgery. I have lost about 40 pounds since that surgery. That includes gaining, losing, gaining - the entire roller coaster.
I am so glad to see 2020 gone! It was a rough year. I love working from home. Not having the commute saves me about 2 hours a day, not to mention wear and tear on the car and gas. But I do miss the direct interaction with my coworkers. Some people will be able to work from home permanently, but I am not one of them - my general counsel already let me know that is not an option for me, darn it!
Our CEO announced in the fall that he was retiring at the end of 2020. I had fleeting thoughts about the impact of that and forgot about it until other shoes began to drop. Our new CEO is a promotion from within and he decided to make additional changes. He shuffled the org chart in our technical groups. He laid off 3 VPs and replaced them with internal promotions. One of those three was our then current general counsel. I felt very close to Sal and am devastated at his forced departure. I would not be still at this company without his intervention. Long story short, he rehired me when I was laid off years ago. A few years later, he moved me into another position when the company was laying off admin assistants. He made arrangements for the company to pay for the education I needed to become a paralegal. And, he also created the opportunity for me to move to NC. I would not have a house without being able to move here. But, above it all, Sal is a wonderful person with a larger than life personality. I miss him a ton!
Our new general counsel is my immediate former boss, so that is also a win.
With Sal's departure, the COVID-19 situation, the political situation and the usual financial and workload concerns, I was on overload. Right before Christmas, I was talking with my new boss and she must have heard something in my voice. We talked a bit about the pressures and she asked me about self-care.
Self-care? That's something I have never done consistently. The company closes for the week between Christmas and New Years, so I took that time to work on some things. I recommitted myself to make better food choices, increase water and exercise - the basics! Last week, at a dollar store, I found a sign. It 's shaped like a nameplate holder that you would have on the edge of a desk, but it's a hard plastic. It's sort of pink and gold in glittery color and it says "THIS GIRL CAN". I grabbed it impulsively. It is on the shelf slightly above eye-level behind my laptop. It reminds me to choose to move forward!
Yesterday, however, I sabotaged myself. Yesterday, I took the day off and took my stepdad to the surgery center for his procedure. We did not know whether or not he would have to stay overnight or might be released to come home later in the day.
I spent the day doing things around the house, watching the news coverage of the shocking events in DC and waiting for the phone to ring. When he let me know we could pick him up, I asked him what he could eat and, if he could eat, what did he want? "French Dip" he texted. BF and I grabbed dinner on the way to the hospital. I had checked the menu and figured out what to order. That flew out the window as we sat in drive through.
He is sore, but he is home and on the mend! Thanks for the prayers and positive thoughts.
Long story short, I ate way too much! It was not just that meal. It was making similar, though not as extreme food choices for a couple of days prior. I found those 2 pounds I lost...The worst part? The chicken wrap was not nearly as yummy as any of their roast beef sandwiches and I really did not need the portion of loaded curly fries. BF ordered those and I should have ignored them!
THIS GIRL CAN lose those pounds.
THIS GIRL CAN get moving.
THIS GIRL CAN succeed!