ThePlan 2021-a Different Feel
Sunday, January 10, 2021
That's right. ThePlan 2021 is shaping up with a different feel this year from years past. Mind now - there will still be a plan. And it will still be deeply personal and probably big and encompassing and probably extremely detailed. That's just how I like to plan. But I don't feel as much like sharing it in detail this year.
Not because anyone here is or has ever been unkind to me about my effusive loquacity. And for that I thank anyone who has ever read or commented on my blogs. It is more like I am wary of TheWorld. or TheUniverse. Or TheFuture.
I am sure everyone is starting out the year feeling like a character in a fantasy novel. Who would have ever thought they would live to see ___ or ___ or __? But we did. And the wild animal in me feels the need to burrow. The need to do my thing behind the screen of the briar patch, under the cover of darkness. This is nothing new. I grew up believing in happy ever marriages (thank you favorite authors plus all gabillion fairy tales in the library) but came of age in the era of "Half the marriages end in divorce". Well. I certainly wanted to get married and even to have the happy ever after, but I sure wasn't going to expose myself in an expensive flashy wedding with dress, cake, and public vows. We got married at the courthouse. So you see, I'm running true to form.
Still and all. I am willing to risk writing a plan and I have come up with an overriding goal. It is to look back at 2021 and say "WOW! Look how far I've come THIS year!"
Because when I look back at last year - "WOW! Look how far I've come!" And this, in spite of covid and politics and the deepest sadness for the world I've ever felt … and knowing THAT part isn't over yet.
It was while sitting in the living room one November evening, gazing at a portrait I've done of my grandson, in watercolor, that I suddenly realized that in less year I'd gone from being frozen and stymied with color at all to painting something I was really proud of. Something that was good. I have plenty of room to grow, but by golly - that is one good portrait. I know.
I know the subject. And this, even though the teacher I went to learn from turned out to be an egotistical, lazy dud! And suddenly I realized that other areas of last year's plan, like Big Expensive Projects that required cooperation from Other People, had been fulfilled as well! A new roof on the house. A big safe dock out into the river that I actually used all summer. Professional lawn care hired and locked in for a year. I know - anybody can hire Other Workers to do Big Jobs at home, but not everyone can nudge the essential Other Person - the husband - into being the active partner he needed to be to get this done - and without fighting. And in spite of all the restrictions, we shared another important Spiritually Significant, Other People event - we drove cross country (safely) to attend a beloved nephew's wedding. Speaking of spirituality - I even went a long way towards conquering TheDarkThing. It's still there - woke me from a bad dream just last night - but I am stronger these days, when confronting it. I have more tools. I'm less afraid.
In one area I am not pleased - but even there I am certainly less distressed than I might have been, had this past year been a flop - if any year you are alive, mobile and able to think can be called a flop. There is a weight gain issue this year. It has now been 2 years since I could say "Don't have to put weight loss at the top of my health goals." There is weight to lose and it is going to be harder … no, not harder … trickier than in years past because there is a bone spur that is taking several old favorite types of exercise off the list. I remember when fellow sparker KANSASROSE67 had to quit running and how hard that was for her … but she found a way. She will be my inspiration to keep looking. And JEANKNEE, who is still investigating food she can eat safely after illness tried to take over her world. It invaded, but it hasn't conquered. She is my Investigation Inspiration. I'll find some answers for me too. I can still walk easily, for long distances. The swing forward action doesn't bother me at all. Yoga, alas, not so much, because any opening up of my hip just grinds that bone against whatever else is in there. Ouch. Well there. I already have a call in to my doc about different types of treatment besides just taking an anti-inflammatory pill. We shall see.
I'm going to set "A Healthy BMI" as one of my stepping stone goals for the year. I get my bone density test in early April and we'll see how much I've shrunk in the last 2 years. That will determine my final weight goal but in the mean time I will get back to the one set for me by Weight Watchers some years ago. That is a weight I maintained with only moderate effort for 6 years. That is definitely one I can commit to.
I have great ambitious art goals this year - because I have the evidence of my past year's growth to spur me on. My own successes have always been my greatest inspiration. Ha! My mother once told me that anytime I did something that garnered praise my answer was always "Just wait till I do it again!" She quickly learned to give justifiable praise often to get what she wanted from me. Did she manipulate me? I don't think so. She adjusted her parenting to the unique traits of her child. Certainly shame, scolding, punishment did very little to inspire me. In fact, as a toddler, if I was hurt I would find the darkest place in the house to hide in. Never went to anyone to fix it. Huh - no wonder I feel differently about ThePlan this year.
Anyway, I want to push myself both in the studio and out in the world as a professional artist. The pretty new planner offers me lots of opportunity - lots of pages specifically laid out for making lists of steps that will get me someplace, wisely broken down into days, weeks and months.
It's likely I will share my monthly goals and/or achievements. I'm a talker, especially about me. I worry about that some. It feels as if I should have a more global, less personal view of life. But hey - this is my blog. Readers should expect me to talk about me. Nobody would be reading this who didn't want to. It's not like I'm that stupid watercolor teacher who yacked about herself and her non-watercolor art for half of each class she was supposed to be teaching! Definitely false advertising there. Thankfully, covid shut them down before I said something ugly, out loud, in public.
Yesterday, DSHONEYC said Plans are produced with optimism and hope...two things we really need on a daily basis! What a beautiful comment from a beautiful mind! Yes. There is ThePlan 2021 - and the best thing about it is the optimism and hope needed to write a plan. Any plan that will get me to that goal to be able to say "WOW! Look how far I've come this year!"
May you go far this year - with optimism and hope.