METAFUKARI
500,000-749,999 SparkPoints 501,243
SparkPoints
 

Personal, yet, maybe it will help!

Thursday, January 14, 2021

"Childhood trauma can affect you for life. Right now I am dealing with it effects. A lot of the time I think I am past it and something happens to bring it to the forefront again, then I wind up hurting myself and others. Grace, we need to give it to ourselves more! Breathe. It sucks I know, but we have to go through even more hell, to get to the other side."

I wrote this as a response to a post and lately I feel like I am dealing with stuff from being a child. It feels never-ending sometimes. I suppose one can be healed and then something happens to bring too much crap back to the forefront. Time for a tune-up I think.

I think my worst personality trait is that my mouth works faster than my mind sometimes. (Or is it the reverse?) Then I say something too quickly and I wind up hurting someone, sigh! You would think I've been on this earth long enough to have a good handle on that. I mess up sometimes. It's always been hard for me to quickly apologize. Perfectionism coming into play here. I was shown that making mistakes is bad, it means you are a bad person, a screw up. Rationally I know people make mistakes and you are to learn from them. Not me apparently, this one area I mess up in a lot with a certain family member. (My Mom)

Today, I apologize today and do better in life!!!

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NJ_BEACHCOMBERS
    I had a difficult childhood..I have dealt with my past on many levels..last night I was talking to someone , my past came up and the tears begin to flow as if it just happened yesterday..It is a grief process and I am not sure the pain and hurt ever completely go away...I am 71.
    19 days ago
  • DONNALEE-53
    emoticon emoticon
    23 days ago
  • JAVNMICH1969
    I found you on sparkpeople after being off for a while. I love all your quotes. Please add me as a friend so i can get your updates.
    As to healing childhood issues. I had a terrible childhood although I had all the necessities, it was a very cold strict environment. Many years of therapy and finally acceptance especially with my mom has led the way to me actually enjoying talking to her on the phone. I am just sad that it was later in life that I was able to come to this acceptance of who she is. It isn't perfect but I use humor now to deflect her negative projections and we have a good laugh. Not sure if this is relevant but hoping for some peace for you.
    peace, love light and joy
    Michelle
    32 days ago
  • GRALAN
    Thanks for sharing, as it helps to know a person isn't alone with this kind of stuff. We already acknowledge that, but coming out the other side yet again can touch a person's last nerve so to speak. My father is that character in my life, and then I went to work with him for a while. Now he has moved across the country to live near us.

    It doesn't take much for some scabs to get reopened.
    90 days ago
  • LINDA!
    Childhood trauma is something that seems to come back and we focus on this. I know that therapy can help us to work through this. But unfortunately, it is always there. I send you best wishes as you work to heal. emoticon
    94 days ago
  • MRSLIVINGWELL
    Not easy to get "over" if you even can--when the people that put you in that position are still stoking the fire.

    emoticon
    94 days ago
  • MILLER-S
    I agree that childhood trauma is extremely hard and it can seem never ending. Trying to be perfect is impossible, but so many of us felt that was the bar that was set. I was reared by two perfectionists and one of them could never admit he was wrong about anything. Sometimes it's very hard, but I find it almost a point of pride to be able to apologize for my mistakes - so that I'm not like him in that way.

    Wishing you all the best. We are all only human. emoticon emoticon
    94 days ago
  • NEW-CAZ
    I know where you're coming from Kayah, brave of you to put it out there and eloquently said.

    emoticon

    good luck for tomorrow, let me know how it went emoticon emoticon
    94 days ago
  • BTRUE2U4EVER
    Well said and completely understood. Childhood traumas are not easy, triggers happen and I'm right back at what feels like the beginning. Sending you a hugs and you are in my thoughts.
    94 days ago
  • THOMS1
    I could use that coffee mug myself. Sharing sometimes helps others so thank you! emoticon
    94 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/14/2021 1:56:40 PM
  • MDOWER1
    Thank you
    94 days ago
  • LOSEDAPOUNDS
    I need that coffee mug! LOL! On a more serious note, I wish you peace and healing and you deal with past traumas.
    94 days ago
  • 4CYNDI
    So tough to be rid of the trauma from childhood. I know it is something I work on too, and I think well, I've finally handled it and then bam! There it is... again. I also was taught that failure was bad and mistakes, even honest ones weren't allowed. So, here I am still learning that failure is not fatal... again.

    **HUGS**
    94 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.