I was guided to do these meditations to help heal all the broken parts of me. I know this is a process but am so excited to be shown this. I don't expect people will truly understand but I need to share it anyways and not be afraid anymore. As my friends know about some of my childhood horrific trauma and torture. It is a gift, for if I can help anyone else heal, it is all worth it. The more I work on and heal myself, the more I heal the collective. The more I heal myself, the more I help heal others who don't have the strength to do it themselves. So the love and light over the darkness always wins. Thank you for reading this, it might not make sense to you but if you have any questions on my process, let me know. I love you all!!!
this has been my meditation this so far. So amazing and healing, I plan on doing this every day for every year of my life and see what happens. To heal, let go and forgive myself and to become whole again.
January 27, 2021 - in the womb.
This morning, in my meditation, I was shown to take the lost inner baby parts of me to the healing waters of life at the fountain. I then started with Marcelene and Darcelene (twin sisters, my middle name is Marcelene) and pictured them in my hands, hugging them, holding them, and even hugging them in a womb before they were born. Telling them how much I love them and how sorry I was that they had to endure the torture of the beatings, the evil words, the hate and even the fear. I started bawling, releasing all the pain, shame, sadness and even guilt. Holding them in my heart with such deep love for them both. Tears still coming up as I try to write this. I love them both so much, so the three of us stood under the fountain, washing all pain, fear, guilt, shame, sadness and anything else that wasn’t of our highest good. Standing there, feeling the water flow over all three of us, letting it all pour out to be cleansed and released. I love them so much, all three actually. Me, my fetus self (Marcelene) and my twin sister (Darcelene). When I felt it was enough, we stepped out of the fountain of life and walked down the path with roses on each side of it, picking a rose for each of us, bringing it in to our hearts. Going into the elevator and pushing the button for the 8th floor to the 1st floor and as we glided down to our earthy body, the three of us enmeshed and became one. Feeling so loved and complete. I am so honored for this guidance and meditation. I plan on doing this for every age of my life, no matter how many there are for each age, I will do each one if needed. What a powerful and wonderful healing mediation, I am so thankful and my heart is full.
(this picture is when I was a month old already but a preemie, I do not have a birth picture)
January 28, 2021 - Birth.
Today, I brought little baby Marcelene in my arms, talking sweetly to her, telling her how perfect and beautiful she is. Telling her that I am sorry how she was treated and that she missed her twin. I was sorry for the pain she went through being beat into this world. I promised her that I would take care of her, feed her, clothe her, diaper her, and love her forever. That she would never feel alone again. We then cried together and as I held this sweet tiny baby in my arms, the fountain of healing waters flowed over us, releasing all that pain, guilt, shame, loneliness and anything else that is not of our highest good. Then we stepped out of the waters and walked down the path with me holding her, showing her the beautiful roses that was as perfect as she is. Went into the elevator to come back down, and as we went down to the base floor of our body, she gently enmeshed into my heart becoming one. But always with me. Thank you, feeling so happy and heart again full.
(I wasn't given the name Jetta until I was a few weeks old)
January 29, 2021 - 6 months
Today, I called out my 6 month old baby Jetta. I talked to her as if she were my real baby in my arms. Telling her everything she should have heard, how much I loved her, just how precious she is, how beautiful, wanted and perfect she is. We started bawling together, releasing all the pain of the past. I then raised her up as in the Lion King, out to the universe, to God, to the holy fountain of life. To wash away any and all emotions (sadness, fear, confusion, abandonment, pain, hunger) that is not of our highest good. Feeling the pure healing waters flow over us both. What an amazing feeling. Then we stepped out, going down the path back to the elevator, I was showing her the beautiful roses on each side of this path. I then picked a beautiful yellow rose and gave it to her. We then as I still had her in my arms, went into the elevator, and I brought her into my heart, enmeshing her into mine. Feeling so wonderful and complete. Thankful for this meditation experience. Thankful for this magical healing.