BESSHAILE
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Planning As I Go Along

Sunday, February 07, 2021

Planning - as I age, as I release the demands of a job (I know - it's been more than 3 years - I'm a slow learner), living in the cockamamy world of global government interference, waiting to be useful to a young family about to welcome its newest member - has been particularly difficult this year. In former years I would gaze around me and see areas for improvement, envision something better, imagine the scenario of better-ness, then mark out steps to get there.

This year I'm not yearning for some big achievement. I have the studio. The pier is built. I am painting regularly and commissions are coming in. DH and I have found new ways of sharing ourselves. My children share The Grands with me generously. At the moment we have no health issues and there is enough money to do the things we want without dipping into the principal. Answering the question of "What next?" is not tempting.

While ordinarily I like to state things in a positive light - I think this is the year for my over-arching goal to have the word "not" in it. I'd like to look back at the end of this year, and while I'll happily say "wow, look how far I've come!", I'd like to say it AFTER I exclaim, "Look! I did *not* waste any of these precious days!" LOL - or at least, not too many of them.

What is it about frittering that's so alluring? Stupid tv shows, the same tawdry novel, junk food eating. These things are just so easy to do - or watch - or eat. And then the day is lost and you've just frittered it away. I'm not talking about a day off. I'm talking about loosing the one resource I can never earn more of. Time.

So this year ... or at least for right now, till something changes ... I am planning day by day. The Pretty New Planner has lots of places to list things I don't want to forget to do - but I don't feel like I can plan for the long term right now. Each morning I sit down and think about what I might do today. What I'd enjoy doing. What I'll feel good for having done. What's interesting, pleasurable, even - yes - it's okay - bragworthy. And I fill the pages with possibilities and the next day I take a look and see which ones I've done - and what I might like to do that day.

It's a different kind of planning - it's short term planning - it's planning day by day - but it gives me enough structure to feel safe, without feeling either burdensome or dishonest.

That's the plan, anyhow.
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