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Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Lawyers should never ask grandma a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer.

In a trial, a small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness,
a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know me?"
She responded , "Why yes , I do know you Mr Williams. I've known you
since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife and you manipulate people and
talk about them behind their back. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realise you'll never amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do, I've known Mr Bradley since he was
a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is the worst
in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women.
One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice said,
"If either of you idiots ask her if she knows me, I'll send you both to
the electric chair."
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