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Don't Get Mad

Friday, June 04, 2021

The day after The ex Worker [?] Friend came to collect his tools, I emailed him to thank him for bringing my stuff that had been stored in his loft at the same time.  It seemed like the polite thing to do - despite my knowing [and saying at the time] there would be a hidden agenda.  Eleven days later he replied.  Some banal stuff then his stock phrase 'we need to deal with the elephant in the room and sort out the finances'.  What he means is 'I want some money'.  Oh we've been here before haven't we?  Remember the £1,500 bill he hit me with as soon as I got the money from the sale of my old house?

I paid that then but this time around - no.  We had an agreement, he threw his toys out of the pram and bailed out on that agreement.  Leaving me in the lurch.  Now, more than a year later he wants to 'sort it out' - or in other words, wants to hit me with another bill?  Dream on kiddo.  I'm currently trawling through our previous correspondence in order to get my 'ducks in a row' as it were.  

In any case, the real 'Elephant in The Room' is not the finances.  It's the way he has constantly abused my friendship.  I think it was Ramona that used the phrase gaslighting.  Things change.  I don't care anymore about our so called 'friendship'.  I tend to be pretty easy going until pushed to the extreme.  Then when push comes to shove, I'm my mother's daughter.  As stubborn and immovable as a mule.  As MY daughter has said to me on occasion 'Mum, sometimes you are seriously scary'.  

I like to be fair and reasonable.  I like to consider other people's point of view. I like to be 'nice'.  Sometimes people think that makes you a pushover.  Maybe sometimes it does.  But don't ever imagine that makes me 'soft' or an easy target.  I think in the next few days, The ex Worker [?] Friend is going to realise just how much he has always misjudged me.  

Bright blessings
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Never stop being SCARY!
    54 days ago
    There is an expression here in Spain, "mejor solo que mal acompañado" which popped into my head as I read your blob. It means 'better alone than poorly accompanied'. Stay stubborn and take away this man's power to hurt or upset you any furthur emoticon
    57 days ago
    It is hard when friends become EX-friends I think especially over money. I once loaned a friend some money that she was going to pay back on the next payday but instead she disappeared from my life (wouldn't return phone calls or talk to me) all over money that if she'd talked to me about could have been a gift instead of a debt. Funny as several years later we had a small friendship over a mutual interest until she got fired (we worked for same company but in different sections). I am still sad over the whole thing. I am sorry that your friend is now an EX friend but hope you will be happy with the results that this coming to a head will afford you.
    58 days ago
  • -POOKIE-
    Stand up for what is right. It sounds as soon as rhis person can be completely removed from your life the better.
    59 days ago
    Absolutely positively stick up for yourself and take care of yourself, my friend
    59 days ago
    Good for you! YUP . . . sometimes we learn lessons the hard way, but those, for sure, are the lessons we remember!
    59 days ago
    Been there. Done that. And lost a lot of money helping a “friend”. It hurts. A lot. Hang in there. Chalk it up as a lesson learned.
    59 days ago
    I like to help people too; I have been taken average of in the past and it does make you hard. You get tired of it.
    59 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6784549
    Quite right too Tiz, We had (note HAD) a scrounging friend who took the proverbial just once too often.

    Dear ole mum used to say "never a borrower or a lender be"...........too true.
    If I give money to a friend now it's on MY understanding I won't get it back, but I won't be taken for a mug.

    Hope you can sort this out amicably but I envisage fisticuffs!!

    59 days ago
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