What has happened to manners and respect???

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Has life really gotten so busy and hectic that people just forget that they have parenting to do, or just how to do it? Have adults really fallen victim to guilt of having a two-income family and utilizing day care that they let their kids walk all over them and have what they want? Or is it peer pressure, even among the adults, that their kids have to be like everyone else? Or all of the above? I have just had a frustrating couple of days and I just sometimes have to wonder where our priorities went - and this even pertains to some of my closest friends. I am not as strict as my mother was when I was growing up; yet I still believe in most of the principles taught to me. My kids think I am way to strict sometimes... but I'd like to think they'll at least be around to thank me for it when they're older. Just like I did. ;P

As an example....
A person I know - I can't even use the word "friend" because I have lost all respect - uses every excuse in the book for her son's behavior and naively believes all of his lies. His latest stint - he was arrested two weeks ago for a burglary he contributed in here in town. He was then, of course, kicked off of all sports teams, etc. One would think, of a normal parent, he would have some major punishments and privelege revocations, etc. - which made me wonder why I saw him running around at an away football game Friday night. As his mother puts it.. "well, I could punish him more, and people probably wonder why I don't, but he's really been through so much already.... his dad and I were fighting and split up for a couple of days, so he was going through so much.... " the list goes on and on. A parent does a child no good at all with this type of behavior. Of course, she is no model for behavior either; which makes me wonder why some people even have children.

For example....
A friend of mine has two sons - one is not AS bad, but the other one, my son's classmate, treats her HORRIBLY. He will talk to her like she is nothing, demand things - money, etc., push her, etc. And she sits there and takes it. Always has. And so does his father; I don't believe her husband treats her that way or acts that way, but I can't understand why he lets him/them get away with it. Or her for that matter. One time, we were standing there talking and waiting for the kids to finish up with football. Well, they got done and he came over right away and wanted to go. Well, we were trying to finish OUR conversation, and he kept pushing her and telling her he wanted to go, getting mad, etc. So I finally looked at him and told him to knock it off, that we waited on him for a lot longer, so he can wait for his mother for two minutes. Grrrrr - I was mad....

I am not implying my kids are perfect - they are far from it. But gosh darn it, I at least make the effort to teach them manners and respect for others. And I think it's such a shame that so many don't have any guidance....

Okay, off my soapbox for now. I feel better for having gotten that off my chest. :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I totally understand your frustration. I too witness things like this on a daily basis. But, you must understand that these kids are growing up in a much different world than we did. If I ever did what that boy did to his mother while in the middle of a conversation, my mom would have slapped me right upside my head. I didn't do things like that because I was taught better. Don't be worried about what others might say with respect to how YOU raise your children. I too am sometimes to strict with my son and will argue to days end with my daugher but at the end of the day, they sit back and realize that I'm there to parent them. I'm NOT going to be their friend because they already have friends. It's my JOB to be their FATHER not their friend. That'll be the way it is till the end of time for me!

    As for's taught through doing. I try my best to teach my son respect through what I do...opening doors at the grocery store for women and elders who might be behind me, etc.

    Keep you chin up. Things will get better as these kids grow up and determine that all this STUFF is useless when it comes to what the really need in life.
    4622 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1426087
    I so agree with you. I have two boys, 4 and 9. My goal in life is to have them respect women. There is such a lack of respect for others that sickens me. Watch as you are out and about. If you meet in the same door way or something with a man, 9 out of 10 times the guy will go through before you. Or at a 4way stop, if it's a guy for sure he is going to go. I tell my boys, you wait and let the lady go first. They are taught to hold the door open for me or whom ever it may be. I want them to repect others and other peoples property. I see kids in the nieghborhood riding their bikes on peoples driveways and worse lawns. My kids are told to ask first if it is ok to ride on the driveway. There just is no regard for others and that is sad. So I know what you are talking about and it starts with the parent putting down some rules and living by them. Best wishes for your children and mine.
    4985 days ago
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