Sabotage. I'm at war with myself.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

I TOTALLY flugged up last night, got on the scale and I weigh one more pound than I did on Monday when I had my initial weigh-in. That's going from 225 down to 221, and then back up and further to 226.5. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF????

OK, time to evaluate what's going on. It just looks like a bunch of little tiny things, and I'm not sure why it got me out of control and upset. From yesterday's blog post it looked like my dear old husband was moody and unresponsive. He is going off to a union meeting all day today and I was nervous because I have to drive my daughter to a roller skating birthday party, we are going to a bowling party with church, and my daughter wants to go all over the neighborhood to sell GS cookies. I'm mainly worried because I have to drag my toddler everywhere with me, and he's extremely accident-prone. Yesterday I was supposed to buy the birthday present for my daughter's friend, and I had to fight with my daughter so that she would go with me, but I'm so annoyed; I mean, it's HER friend so she should help pick out the gift. In the meantime, my husband was cleaning out the basement. That in itself is a really nice thing, but it totally isolates me from him. My mother calls and tells me that family brunch on Sunday is going to be at an all-you-can-eat buffet at the restaurant located underneath the apartment where my grandmother died. I HATE all you can eat buffets because it's nearly impossible to count calories, but how do I tell my mom that I refuse to go to the restaurant where my mom is thinking about her mom and it means so much for her to go there? I felt totally out of control and I just said to myself "screw it" and I ate something that I couldn't figure out how to count calories on and then I basically gave myself permission to go on an all-out binge.

OK...I hear the baby waking up and I didn't start my exercise. Gotta go. I hope I get some exercise in!!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you for your suggestions! Although the rest of the weekend could be written off, I did have only one plate! I was happy about that. I had fruit salad for 1/4 of the plate, too. Could have been better, but definitely could have (and has been) worse!
    4868 days ago
    Also, eat something healthy before you go to have something in your belly so that you don't eat too much just b/c you are starving. Focus on the conversation more than the food and just one trip up. You can do it!
    4870 days ago

    A trick I learned one time when I had to go to a buffet was to walk the food line first and see all the choices. then Make a mental note of what you can eat and stay on your diet. Then here's the kicker. One plate only unless the other is for salad--oil and vinegar dressing only. the others are too dangerous to use too much.

    Remember you aren't there to eat. You are there to be with your mom and remember your Grandma. We have to learn to eat in the real world don't we? You CAN do it.

    The other part is all about emotions. I know the need to be with other people in order to be happy. Now that I'm alone, I'm trying to figure out how to change that. Not easy. Plus sounds like DD has you doing too much. It's a fine line to walk I know. Good Luck.
    4870 days ago
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