Making friends

Saturday, January 19, 2008

One of the problems I have with making friends is that I relate better to mixed up people then to well balanced people, probably because I am mixed up. If they are "normal" they aren't as interesting. I am extremely shy (verging on the phobic) so when someone starts noticing me, I immediately run the other way. On top of that I have no self esteem, I don't see how anyone would want to be my friend, so if someone tries to make friends with me, that is the last thing that would occur to me. I haven't had someone try to become my friend since I was twelve. I either fell into the friendships, or actively pursued the friendships that I've had since then. It doesn't help that I am somewhat isolated, I don't spend a lot of time with people my own age. I work in the kitchen of a family owned drive in restaurant, so I don't see a lot of new people. I also spend a lot of my free time with my elderly landlords, I see more of them then anyone else.
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    Looks like you're doing pretty good. It's nice to know that others have the same problems, eh? One trick that I used early on was to pretend that I wasn't shy. I knew inside of myself that I was feeling uncomfortable but I worked on saying something "appropriate" and trying my best not to appear shy. When the other person didn't know I was shy, it somehow helped me not to feel so shy. I like what the other person said about asking other people questions and LISTENING. That is a great way to make friends.
    4937 days ago
  • JACQUE8119
    I can also relate to your blog comment. I am pretty interoverted and I prefer to be alone. I like people and I like to spend time with them but I feel kind of...drained after being around people for a long period of time. I hate going to places to hang with people I dont know. I'm never good at making conversation. I always feel so akward. I'd rather stay home and read a book or something than deal with real people, with the exception of a few close friends.
    4939 days ago
    I can certainly relate to your blog comments. When I see someone I know I either pretend I don't know them (if its just an acquaintence), or I'll try and walk to where I don't have to say anything to them. Its awful.

    Every day I work on forcing myself to talk with people. Recently I started to ask people about themselves and just listen to what they have to say. It is helping me to come outside of myself a bit. Even if its the cashier at the grocery store, I just have to talk with someone.

    Finally, I've started going to AA meetings (in recovery 16 years) daily, and, again, force myself to talk. It gets easier to talk the more you do it.
    4939 days ago
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