IMJETTA8
200,000-249,999 SparkPoints 212,428
SparkPoints
 

IMJETTA8's Blogs

Blessed Holiday to all of you!
Sunday, December 20, 2009      10 comments

I have sent this out on my teams but wanted to put this here as well in case my other spark friends that are not on one of my teams can still read this... My dearest Spark Family, I am leaving for vacation to be with family from De... Read more
Made hubby angry :-(
Tuesday, December 15, 2009      19 comments

I know adults get mad but it is always so scary for me. It was always my fault and I would get beat to a pulp when it did happen which was all the time. I know I am adult and adults are allowed to make mistakes. Well, last night hubby was ... Read more
Loosing my fur baby!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009      41 comments

I am loosing my fur baby. Her name is Hershey and she is not quite 12 years old. She is almost totally deaf and blind. She is a Malanois and just has been a sweet sweet dog. We go... Read more
My angel and more
Thursday, October 22, 2009      14 comments

In therapy yesterday, we were going over the past few weeks and I had told her that I can't believe that I stood there at home alone with an ice pick at my chest imagining shoving it into my heart. I stood there for awhile (10 min I think) wanti... Read more
I have an amazing therapist!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009      7 comments

I am here crying from what she emailed me. I had sent her a summary of what we had talked about the other day and asked her to add to it. I sure didn't expect this. I am just in shock, this has hit me in the face and I know it to be TRUE!. ... Read more
Doing so much better
Tuesday, October 20, 2009      7 comments

I am doing better today, not really sure what the difference is. I haven't cried or felt a whole lot for this memory. I can't say what happened here maybe I will on my team blog. It sure is hard to accept that my mother abused me even ... Read more
I AM NOT READY FOR THIS!!
Thursday, October 15, 2009      9 comments

I thought that I was ready to hear the truth. I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE!!! I WANT IT TO ALL GO BACK I CAN'T DO THIS!!! IT DIDN'T HAPPEN IT DIDN'T HAPPEN IT DIDN'T HAPPEN IT DIDN'T HAPPEN IT DIDN'T HAPPEN I A... Read more
a difficult day today
Wednesday, October 14, 2009      10 comments

more tough memories came out today. Some of the feelings and shame are sinking in a bit. I couldn't even write it out on my team blog. The memories have been flooding out so much these past weeks. I am sure it is good but just so hard emotionall... Read more
Today
Tuesday, October 13, 2009      6 comments

I saw my T (Carol) again today and I think another memory is coming out. These memories are coming out so fast. I really want them to come out but am just afraid for some reason. It involves the last link to my mother. I wanted to go back to wor... Read more
TAPES
Tuesday, October 06, 2009      12 comments

The past 2 days I have been REALLY fighting with the old tapes that the parents and cult put in my head. The tapes to k*ll myself if their secrets ever got out. If I ever told their secrets but mostly so I wouldn't tell their secrets. I can't wi... Read more
THE FINAL THREAD!
Friday, October 02, 2009      14 comments

Today in therapy, we discovered that I still have a thread keeping me linked to my ugly past. Linked to my so called mother. I could finally say that I don’t love my dad, stepdad, uncles and cult members. Putting the blame on them instead of... Read more
Tears
Thursday, October 01, 2009      7 comments

How many times I have said to myself that I am making this stuff up. That none of this stuff with the cult, my parents, my whole childhood was real. But when I find myself at night holding on to my dear husband for dear life, crying for an hour,... Read more
today
Tuesday, September 29, 2009      10 comments

Today was really hard, over 3 hours with T today, the rest of the memory came out. I cried so hard. So unbelievable as to how evil they can be. Hard to believe that any of this is possible. Every bit of if I keep saying that I made it up. It cou... Read more
Me
Saturday, September 26, 2009      12 comments

Feeling so very low. but I am not supposed to be this way. They had me delete my last blog. which didn't help. Just feel like I was stepped on. I can't be the me who is feeling so very bad at the moment. I have to be the actress and tell everyo... Read more
still dealing with it
Saturday, September 19, 2009      13 comments

still feeling very sad and alone even though my family is here. I grieve for all those babies who were killed in the sacrifices. A lot of them were my own brothers and sisters. One was even a twin of mine but they took her before there was any ... Read more

« First Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Last Page »