SHINEFROMWITHIN
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SHINEFROMWITHIN's Blogs

numb
Thursday, July 21, 2011      11 comments

this morning i feel numb. there are pockets of time where i feel fine and them BAM! all of a sudden i just want to burst into tears. i know i should call my dr. i probably will. i just dont want to say the words out loud. typing them with m... Read more
emotional venting
Wednesday, July 20, 2011      8 comments

again, this is just another blog for me to spill the things i am keeping inside because i do not have anyone else to turn to my medication is causing suicidal thoughts. i would never act on them but feeling that bad about myself alone ma... Read more
S C R E A M
Wednesday, July 20, 2011      10 comments

I HATE MY BODY. I HATE IT. THERE IS NOT A PART ON ME THAT I LIKE. I HAVE BALLOONED INTO THIS 180-LB MONSTER THAT LOOKS TERRIBLE IN CLOTHES. I JUST WANT TO SCREAM & CRY. but I have to go to school...... ugh.... Read more
the stuff stuck to the gum, thats stuck to the bottom of your shoe.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011      4 comments

I have been feeling like the stuff that gets stuck to the gum that is stuck on the bottom of your shoe. I realized that I graduated High School 3 years ago, and I have very little to show for it. I have completed only 3 semester of college.... Read more
wahwahhwahhh woe is me
Monday, July 18, 2011      5 comments

So yes, this is a sad blog. Quite honestly, I dont expect any of you to read this, I just need to type to get emotions out, and then I can fall asleep. Today is the 4th day in a row, that I am crying. Today is day 6 that I have been on my n... Read more
my favorite words
Sunday, July 17, 2011      3 comments

My favorite words are, Fabulous, Hope, & Curvy. Technically I love any adjective but these are the ones that stick in my brain. HOPE *I hope that I can find the strength in myself to achieve my goals. I hope that I can find comfort ... Read more
sunday funday
Sunday, July 17, 2011      4 comments

On sunday mornings I instruct 2 zumba classes; 10-11 & 12-1 I had a really rough night last night. Took a shower and cried the entire time. I had told my Dr that I gained 10 lbs within a month when I was on my old meds, and those lbs ... Read more
CLEAN cookies in 15 minutes!
Saturday, July 16, 2011      5 comments

So I was reading my Oxygen Magazine & came across a recipe so today I strapped on my apron, got my cooking utensils ready, and hit the kitchen :) First, I made a Banana Loaf http://www.oxygenmag.com/Nut
rition/Articles/Fat-Free-B
an... Read more
my BIGGEST struggle
Friday, July 15, 2011      3 comments

I have a huge problem, with being too hard on myself. I expect perfection, and belittle myself when I do not achieve it. I never expect it of other people. I enjoy the different qualities people have to offer, but for me, it is all or nothi... Read more
The 4-letter 'F' word...
Thursday, July 14, 2011      9 comments

That dreaded 4 letter f-word..... F O O D I have more struggles and hassles and arguments in my life because of FOOD. I need opinions. I eat food because it tastes good. I try to pick foods that taste good and are nutritious. Wha... Read more
rockin'roller coaster
Thursday, July 14, 2011      3 comments

Have you been to Disney in Florida? There is the Aerosmith Rockin Roller Coaster. You are in the dark, with neon lights flashing and stuff, but you cant see whats coming next. THAT is what today was like. It started off miserably. I th... Read more
thursday
Thursday, July 14, 2011      4 comments

so it is thursday. I have eaten like CRAP this week. I am upset. Feeling the effects of not being on my old meds and dealing with stress & other bologna. I am hoping my new meds kick in soon. I am only on day 2 but I am hopeful. As for my s... Read more
obstacle
Tuesday, July 12, 2011      5 comments

I have ANOTHER sweat gland gone wild. I am harboring the staph bacteria in my body..... awesome... Also, I talked to my Dr. about my depression&anxiety meds. My parents say I am bitchy, and I feel fine I am just honestly annoyed with them L... Read more
I refuse...
Wednesday, July 06, 2011      11 comments

I refuse to believe that last week, while I had TOM, that I weighed 177.0 && this week I weigh 181.2 That is 4 lbs. HOW?! I refuse to let that get to me. I will continue to work EVEN harder this week. 175 is in my future ... Read more
tee-hee
Tuesday, July 05, 2011      4 comments

So I have to giggle because Spark alerted me I just got a trophy for my first blog, from September!! It made me giggle but it made me realize how much I have learned and how much persistence I have, to still be going at this! Tomorrow is We... Read more

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