20,000-24,999 SparkPoints 23,103


woe is me
Tuesday, January 15, 2019      6 comments

I’m feeling very sad. I am the heaviest I have ever weighed. My back is constantly in pain. I’m just frustrated with this situation. I need to lose 43lbs and I have 5 months until we start trying to have a baby. I have to make this hap... Read more
do you love yourself
Wednesday, January 09, 2019      3 comments

Do you love yourself? A relatively simple question that probably brings up a lot of emotions. It’s quick to say, of course, but do you treat yourself like you do? ... Read more
diet culture blues
Sunday, January 06, 2019      4 comments

I cannot believe how many years I went desperately listening and repeating and believing diet culture. Don’t eat past 7pm. Don’t eat peanut butter. Bread is bad. Don’t drink juice. Fruit has too many carbs. Don’t use butter. Stay away from sal... Read more
too many numbers
Saturday, January 05, 2019      5 comments

For a year, I was tracking my life in numbers... How many hours I slept How many steps I walked in a day How many times a week I exercises How many drinks I consumed How many carbs I ate How many fat grams I ate How much protein I ate How many... Read more
a changing mindset
Wednesday, January 02, 2019      9 comments

So a co-worker asked me what kind of diet I am starting this year. I said, I’m not. She asked what I meant. I told her I’m accepting myself and my body, loving myself as I am and going to just live my life. She asked if that meant I have... Read more
first day of the new year
Tuesday, January 01, 2019      4 comments

It’s the first day of the new year! I slept in and did not make it to yoga. I wanted to phrase that saying I woke up too late. But no, I slept in because my body needed it. So I was not awake in time for yoga. I saw the fire hall down the st... Read more
yes and no
Monday, December 31, 2018      1 comments

Yes I want to lose weight No I don’t want my life to revolve around weight loss Yes I want to be healthy No I do not want to become obsessed Yes I have a goal to lose 40lbs No I don’t want to be strict and not enjoy myself Yes I want to eat bet... Read more
accepting my body
Friday, December 28, 2018      1 comments

There has never been a time that I loved the skin I’m in. In elementary school I was the chubby one who couldn’t fit into the princess dresses. In middle school, I was so big I had to shop at New York and Company because I didn’t fit into tra... Read more
being honest with myself and the scale
Thursday, December 27, 2018      4 comments

I care so much about the scale because I gauge my feelings about myself around the number that appears. But if I’m being honest with myself, I step on it with the intent to say “see, this is what’s wrong with you”. Even if the number drops, I’m... Read more
what I really want
Monday, December 24, 2018      5 comments

I can’t believe another year went by. Another year when I didn’t get to hit my goals. Another year... I have to make as much progress as I can to lose as much weight as possible by April. Because then, I will go after what I really want. I re... Read more
no more binging and craving?
Sunday, December 23, 2018      3 comments

So I was completely panicked that stopping macros would make me a failure. Instead, I’ve been making and eating healthy meals that would have been hard to track (which kept me from making them!). I’ve been eating until I’m satisfied; not eatin... Read more
how often
Friday, December 21, 2018      3 comments

How often do we complain? About the scale, exercise, having to diet...hating wearing jeans, criticizing our bodies when we look in the mirror, picking ourselves apart when we don’t work out or have a bad workout or eat pizza instead of salad o... Read more
the money is already spent!
Wednesday, December 19, 2018      3 comments

My nutrition training was $125 a month. Yes I am sad to have wasted all that hard earned cash. But I think everything happens for a reason, right? The good news is that it was budgeted for every month. And now, I have a new place that money ... Read more
I’m so relieved
Tuesday, December 18, 2018      4 comments

I am so relieved now that I no longer work with a nutritionist! I started thinking about all the delicious meals I can make. Healthy and delicious and easy meals that I avoided because they were too hard to track with macros. I don’t have to w... Read more
no more nutritionist
Monday, December 17, 2018      4 comments

I am no longer working with a nutritionist. For months I have been wanting to stop but felt like that would mean I am a failure. But even my nutritionist has been hinting that maybe I should stop and find other avenues to heal whatever is caus... Read more

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