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LISALU910's Photo LISALU910 Posts: 1,333
2/14/19 4:49 P

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I’m just curious - why are you giving up coffee? Making lifestyle changes can be stressful enough (altering your diet, reducing calories, etc) so why add the stress of giving up coffee? It doesn’t have any calories, and the caffeine can help you keep up your energy.

I couldn’t make it without coffee!

Edited by: LISALU910 at: 2/14/2019 (16:51)

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FEEESH's Photo FEEESH Posts: 26
2/13/19 3:24 P

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I understand its tough to sit while he eats whatever he wants but I agree with what some others have said in trying to find healthier snacks you both enjoy. My wife is a thin Korean girl that can eat a bag of cheez-its every night and not gain a. Pound and Id share it with her and gain 17 pounds in one night (exaggerating of course). But I’m also in my mid 40s now and shes in her mid-30s so our metabolism is different too.

I started a weight loss calorie deficit exercise plan for myself 2.5 months ago. It’s going pretty good actually. I try to keep healthier snacks in the house and my wife and I have done ok. I don’t try and get her to limit what she wants and its sometimes hard to resist if she has a sweet snack or something. But I keep string cheese and apples and peanut butter and we both snack on those together. AS well as a good variety of trail mix and nuts from Trader Joe’s.

As for the big breakfasts, if you are exercising regularly too, even just a bit or daily walks or something, you can have a big breakfast with him, you just have to change what you order. Keep it lower carb and you can eat a ton. Get eggs and fruit and veggies and meats. Just avoid the toasts and bagels and hash browns. But you can eat a huge omelette packed with veggies and feel full and probly be more energized than him after not loading up on carbs before that walk around Disneyland.

THese reflect the things Ive been doing. And its working. I posted a rant recently about losing actual pounds but its related to different things. Ive been practicing what I preach and specially in the last week or two Ive definitely been noticing a lot of progress visually, and I’m lifting weights pretty hard too which adds weight, so I’m not getting as frustrated of the actually pounds because I can see I’m trimming up and losing fat in a lot of areas and my clothes are starting to loosen.

THis was all started after a solid 6 years of “enjoying life” with my wife where I was indulging all the time. Eating and drinking when I go out, lots of snacks at home. CHeezits and twinkies and m&ms late at night grazing especially on weekends. And high carb bagel breakfasts with hash browns and stuff.

I am not suggesting to go full kept or no carb either, don’t make extreme changes, but making better lower carb decisions in your meal decisions can help a lot and still alllow you to eat a decent amount with your husband. Just sick with Whole Foods and meat and veggies when you go out. Avoid the potatoes like fries and stuff and avoid breads like buns and toast, etc.

Also try intermittent fasting. I was staying dead even on pounds even though I could tell my exercise and nutrition were working visually and clothes fitting. But a couple weeks back I started a mild intermittent fasting routine as well. My work schedule is thought o get home early to stop eating the usual early time for intermittent fasting to keep a 14-16 hour window of fasting. But I do try and eat as soon as I can after I get home form work and then I don’t eat anything until the next morning. SO I’m still getting a 12-13 hour window of fasting in and the pounds are starting to come off finally. 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks. ANd I did the same last year while working out of town and couldn’t get much exercise, but with the intermittent fasting alone, even with eating relatively badly usually for dinner, I still lost about 12 pounds over a 3 month span without any exercise added in.

SO don’t cut yourself off to minimal eating and dieting, just make better decisions and eat up! And try the intermittent fasting. Just cut yourself off after dinner until breakfast the next day. You’ll see progress.



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BLUELIONESS13's Photo BLUELIONESS13 Posts: 34
2/8/19 7:48 P

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When he is ordering a large breakfast, could you order oatmeal, fruit, or scrambled eggs? Get a big coffee and eat slowly. Track your breakfast and you will stay on track. I understand wanting to splurge on a day off. Your splurge can be a little different and you are still spending time together!




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TERIBEAR68's Photo TERIBEAR68 Posts: 219
2/2/19 12:11 P

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I have been back and forth to this place for 13 years. When I started in 2006 I weighed 289 pounds. When I came back this most recent time in May of 2018 I weighed 236. I'm currently at 208. I am far from the poster child for rapid success but I'm damned well the poster child for never giving up entirely. You CAN Do This! My first piece of advice, if you're not doing so already, is to see someone about treating your depression. I had to get that under control to find the energy/motivation/desire to do anything else. Don't make it harder on yourself than it has to be. I started with changing one thing...for me it was getting a step tracker and moving more...and then another and another. Building habits. Work the program, trust the process when it's not happening "fast enough", I believe in you!

Not all who wander are lost...-Tolkien


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JIBBIE49's Photo JIBBIE49 Posts: 83,353
2/1/19 3:02 P

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You can do this. I'm married to a man who eats all the time and never gains anything, but I know what I put in MY mouth is up to me. Just do this FOR YOU.



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ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (224,407)
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1/30/19 9:13 A



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JOEYSPOOK,

You have to do what's right for you. You can't force your hubby to want to eat right. that's his choice. What you need to do is focus on YOU. That means you're going to need to be more mindful of what you eat. If he can eat the junk and not gain weight, you need to find him a cabinet to place his foods.

And don't think of this as he gets to eat chips and you get carrot sticks. Find healthy snacks you will BOTH enjoy. Does he like fresh fruit ? buy some fresh fruit for the both of you to snack on. If he wants chips, they stay in his cabinet. If you want chips, buy the single serving bags instead of the big bags.

This isn't about being on a diet. it's about finding a nutritional balance that you will keep for the rest of your life and not the amount of time it takes to lose the weight.

Diets fail. This is about making a lifestyle change. So, if the hubby isn't ready, you need to do what's right for you.

Does that make sense ?

CHICAGOHOPE's Photo CHICAGOHOPE SparkPoints: (26,513)
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1/29/19 9:00 P

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Joeyspook, I hear and understand your situation. It is difficult when "everyone" or "anyone" else can eat whatever they want. That being said, it is more about choices YOU make. If the hubby wants a huge breakfast with the fixings, you can order what is healthy for you.

Sometimes by just making better choices and not wanting him to change, he will "see" you changing.

You have to do it for yourself and sometimes that means making the meal choices that are healthy, when everyone isn't.

For nighttime snacking, stay aware of what you are doing, which is what you are doing. For me I eat when I'm bored, so for that I walk, workout some simple just to get my mind off of food.

Keep being mindful of your food, stay on the path that is right for you, make food choices for your health. Control what you can control.

This is your journey.... it's always nice to share it with others, but sometimes you have to start alone before others join. Stay focused.



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JOEYSPOOK's Photo JOEYSPOOK SparkPoints: (6,890)
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1/29/19 6:12 P

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The problem is he always wants to go out to eat and go to concerts where there is always booze. I know I can choose not to imbibe in unhealthy consumption but its frustrating to waste an hour of my morning watching him pig out on a huge breakfast instead of eating lite at home and spending that hour walking around Disneyland or something you know? Do we really need to go to a place and have a huge breakfast before heading out AND stop for ribs on the way home.... its frustrating and depressing and sucks the life out of me. I keep trying to talk to him and he says, "It's my day off, I work hard I want to enjoy a big breakfast" He loses sight entirely of the fact that Its MY day off too.... and I want to eat light and get out and MOVE. Ugh... its a conundrum. I will continue trying to make healthy choices, I just wish I didn't have to fight the one person that's supposed to be looking out for me too every step of the way.... It's not like I am asking him to do something that is BAD for him. :-(




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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 14,107
1/29/19 4:47 P

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JOEYSPOOK,
you said your husband is no help because he can eat and drink all he wants.

Well, I don't see what that has to do with you. There is always someone out there that you can find, maybe a bother, or sister, or sister-in-law ... someone, who can eat whatever, and not be impacted, ... so it seems anyways.

No, you have to do this yourself because you want to take care of yourself.

What are you doing to change your diet? That is the most important thing for weight loss. Are you going to eat real food, nothing that comes in a box, ... whatever, what is your plan? I'm curious.

James
Alberta, Canada


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


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JOEYSPOOK's Photo JOEYSPOOK SparkPoints: (6,890)
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1/29/19 4:01 P

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I am tracking everything and making healthy choices. I find my issue is really at night when I am home and eat out of boredom so I am trying just for this week to do intermittent fasting meaning I can only eat 8 hours a day. I did it yesterday and did well on eating healthy and meeting my nutritional goals. I did all my eating at work and then ran my nutritional report for the day. I get home at about 7:30 and having those report results in my mind when I was tempted to snack helped me tell myself, No, Julie... you have all the fuel you need for today, have some water. And it worked. So for this week I am doing that and giving up coffee. So that is it for this week.




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CHICAGOHOPE's Photo CHICAGOHOPE SparkPoints: (26,513)
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1/29/19 3:00 P

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Welcome.... you have taken the first step, recognize that you have to get back on track.

Now for the plan.... remember this is a process and that every day you can choose the short term reward or keep the big picture of your health in front of you. It's not going to be easy, the will be missteps, but pick up where you left off. If it's a new day choose better, if you made the mistake last hour, choose to do better the next hour.

This is a journey, and it starts with the first step... congrats on the first step. Keep your goals in front of you if it means on a post it note on the fridge, bathroom mirror .

Stay focused, you did it before you can do it again. What is your plan for success?



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JOEYSPOOK's Photo JOEYSPOOK SparkPoints: (6,890)
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1/29/19 12:49 P

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Was up to 245 pounds 6 years ago, had gastric sleeve surgery in 2013 and was at 150 when I got married in June 2014. Everything was fantastic until I got hit by a car while walking in September 2015. Pain and surgery became my excuse and slowly the weight came back. I am now at 220, depressed and miserable and can't blame it on the accident anymore. Motivation is very hard to come by and my husband is no help at all. He's an eat and drink all he wants and never gain any weight kind of guy. I don't know how I am gonna do this, but I have to try. I hate the way I feel and look. So today is day one. Again. First goal.... just 22 pounds.... 10%

Edited by: JOEYSPOOK at: 1/29/2019 (12:50)



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