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8/14/19 4:13 P

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This is so hard, I get it. Trying to find a job when you don't feel great about your body can be so disheartening.

Is there a project you can work on around your house, something tangible you can start, see progress on, and finish reasonably within a week? Maybe try taking breaks from your job search to focus on that project. It could be something as simple as decluttering a closet (not organizing, just getting rid of what you don't need), tidying a room or basement, reorganizing kitchen cabinets, working on a craft project you have the supplies for but never finished, etc.

When I was job-hunting, I found it helpful to have something hands-on to work on, something I could look at the work I had done and see progress. It was so discouraging to write cover letters, send resumes, do interviews, and not get positive feedback. But if I reorganized my kitchen drawers to make things easier to find, or pulled out that Christmas ornament project I'd bought 3 years ago and never finished, and made even a little progress on it, I felt better about myself.

Take life one day at a time - enjoy today before you worry about tomorrow.

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8/9/19 1:04 P

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Eating may distract you from the sadness for an hour or two but then you may just feel worse. You may want to find a different strategy to deal with your (understandable) sadness til it recedes into the background. Watch a funny TV show. Take deep breaths. Tackle a small project you have to do anyway. Come here and post.
Losing (or not getting) a job sucks. Doing something that not only won’t help but may make you feel worse sucks even more.
Break the cycle.

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8/9/19 10:39 A

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The title of your post says more than even the post itself. You want to "eat the sadness away." But you know, don't you, that isn't even possible. People try all kinds of things - overeating, abusing drugs and alcohol - to "make the sadness go away," but it never works. If anything, like you've discovered, it makes it worse. In addition to the job disappointment, you gained 3 lbs! So whatever you ate to try and cope with your anxiety didn't alleviate it, but made it worse when you stepped on the scale.

The bottom line is that some things are under our control and some things are outside our control. We need to focus on what we CAN control - what we eat, for example - so that we do feel in control of our lives. (I know that sounds simplistic, and is easier said than done. I struggle with this just like anyone else.)

Gaining control of emotional eating is a step in gaining control of your life. In the process you may lose weight if that's your goal, but even more importantly you'll GAIN a sense of confidence that will make the other disappointments easier to overcome. If you're already feeling defeated (because your eating is out of control, for example) and then you don't get a job you applied for, you're going to feel that much more discouraged.

So chin up! Control what you CAN control, like what you eat, and do the best you can with everything else, like searching for a job. The better you take care of yourself, the better foot you will have to put forward at your next interview. When you FEEL like you're "worth it," then you will PROJECT that you are worth it.

Oh, and PS... you're not "failing at life," by any means. I have been unsuccessfully looking for a job for THREE YEARS. I have been rejected many, many more times than you have!

Edited by: HOWBOUTTHISNAME at: 8/9/2019 (10:47)

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8/8/19 3:46 P

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You are worth it!

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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 14,002
8/8/19 12:01 P

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SLIMMERKIWI, said something that triggered thoughts in my head.

I too have had my share of unemployment stress. At one point I bought a house, and three months later the company went into bankruptcy, so I lost my job, and finding another one was very stressful, and didn't happen for a number of months, and when it did it was in another city and we had to move, sell the house ...

But what SLIMMERKIWI said was to find something else to do. Really, just go for a walk each day, say 30 minutes. You might think you aren't using your time wisely as those 30 minutes could be "better" spent cruising the internet looking for jobs ...

But actually that sort of thing will help empty your mind, clear it, and when you do get an interview you'll be more relaxed. Plus while doing something different your subconscious mind is freer to roam, and who knows what thoughts will come up. Lets say you walk past the library, you walk in, and in the entrance you see a bulletin board with postings in paper, not to be found on the internet at all. There you see "Wanted ..." and it fits. But you didn't go to the library looking for a job. So doing non-routine things can extend your circle of connections.

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8/8/19 4:52 A

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I know that it can really affect us emotionally when we are unable to get something we want/need - in your case a job - but please, when you reach out for food in those instances, think twice and think about the extra heartache that you will suffer when you gain weight. It really isn't worth it. Instead, try to find something else to do. Perhaps be even more determined in finding a position, even if it is a volunteer one. It is a proven fact that those who volunteer have a greater success rate at finding paid work than those who don't. You increase your transferable skills and it proves you aren't just about "you" but have a social conscience. This article explains the why's and wherefores:

BTW - I was a Volunteer First Responder for a number of years, and some of that was as a Divisional Manager (also volunteer.) It get me into a couple jobs that I loved.

Good luck,

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression

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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan

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8/7/19 1:41 P

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Thank you.

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8/7/19 1:08 P

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I have been laid off twice in the past 4-5 years. Believe me, looking for a job isn't easy. It is iscouraging. What to do when you get a rejection ? Remember, for every no, you will eventually receive that YES !

The two interviews were not failures. If you were called in for a face to face interview, it's proof that you were qualified for the job. Don't take the rejection personally. When a manager is conducting an interview, they are looking for someone who best fits their team. You just weren't the right fit for these two jobs.

There will be other interviews and you know what, one of them will be the right fit.

Also, you need to keep going out on interviews even if they keep saying no. With each interview, you get better at doing them. Going on an interview is an art that takes practice. When you're better at these interviews, you will impress the manager.

Don't feel bad. you are NOT a failure. I went through exactly the same thing you did. Filled out dozens on online applications. sent out resumes. tweaked resumes. wrote cover letters. was rejected dozens of time. Then... I got a YES !!

Here's what I did. each day I set aside time to talk a walk, a long walk. There are so many hours you can sit and tweak resumes or scan job boards. I made sure and I got out of the house. You can take a walk. You can go to the library to read the magazines or listen to a free lecture.

The point is that if you stay in the house, you'll feel depressed. I was depressed. which is why I took the walk. You may find it helpful. If you want to chat here, I know how you're feeling.

It trucks.

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8/7/19 11:56 A

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I know how disheartening it can be to not get a job you want, and am sorry you are going through that. However, that definitely does not mean you are failing at life!!!

Can you take a break from job hunting, just for today, and do something you truly enjoy? Maybe that is something active (workout, walk/hike, gardening) or something more relaxing (reading a book, calling a friend/family). Try to do something to keep your mind off those interviews for the day and, hopefully, rejuvenate yourself. Being active helps us refocus, control stress and can increase our mood due to an increase in mood-enhancing chemicals-serotonin, dopamine and nor-epinepherine.

Tomorrow, you can get back to assessing your job search progress. Is there anything from those interviews that you can work to improve for the next time or were those just not the right jobs for you? Can you reach out and ask those interviewers for constructive feedback?

I do wish you all the best. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.


~ Merle

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."
Edward Everett Hale
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8/7/19 11:28 A

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I have been searching for a new job for the past 6 months or more, this week I got rejections from 2 interviews I went on that I really wanted. I also gained 3 pounds when I stepped on the scale yesterday. Feeling like I am failing at life...

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