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11/20/19 12:12 P



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MYSTICALWINGS04,

You need to give yourself more credit taking a big leaf of faith. Not abusing any substances the past two days is huge. Anyone who is in recovery will tell that it's one day at a time.

One thing to keep in mind is that you shouldn't beat yourself up if you're not perfect. You're not a machine who can eat right 24/7. You're a normal human being with normal human needs.

You don't have to be perfect to be healthy. Just think of simple things you can do that will make your day a little more healthy.




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11/20/19 12:08 P

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Hello MYSTICALWINGS04!

I am very glad you checked back in with us here. Your couple of good days are absolutely emoticon ! Be proud of yourself! You deserve to be happy with your progress.

It's so good you have a doctor and a good friend that you can talk with. Be well!

Spark_Merle

~ Merle

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."
Edward Everett Hale
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11/20/19 8:59 A



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MYSTICALWINGS04 - it may "only" be a couple days but I know full well that those couple days are definitely worthy of being proud over. WELL DONE!!!

It's great that you have a Bestie who is a great source of support.

Kris xxx

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11/20/19 8:05 A

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Thank you Kris, speaking of that, my doc actually did prescribe me something for 'as needed', so far its been helping me take the edge off. If I need it I need it, and I'm becoming ok with that, I just want to feel better or at least help take this edge off.

Its only been a couple days, but I haven't abused substances since my appointment!!! Although that may not seem like a big deal, its only been a couple days.. but its really huge for me considering I've been relying on it sooo heavily. I've gone out of my way just to get that fix... its definitely a problem. Since my doctor appointment I've been very self aware of what I'm doing, I really want and need to make a change. I made MUCH healthier eating choices yesterday, and drank so much water. I definitely had my substance cravings, especially at night, but I went out with my best friend last night and had a long talk with him about all this. I love my bestie, he's such a supportive person and I'm so fortunate to have him in my life (27 years friendship!). I came home and went straight to bed, I was actually proud of myself. But today is another day, and I have to keep that mentality, but its mentally draining to keep having to think about 'being good'.
One day at a time, it will be ok. Thank you for the support, it means everything to me emoticon emoticon

Edited by: MYSTICALWINGS04 at: 11/20/2019 (08:06)
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11/19/19 8:37 P



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Thank you for getting back to us. I hope that you DO reach out to a Therapist, because they can show you the way to a healthier frame of mind, and also consider medication, for the short term at least. Where it comes to anxiety there are medications that can be taken on an 'as needed' basis rather than every day. That might be something for you and your Dr to consider!

Hugs,
Kris xxx

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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11/19/19 1:16 P

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Hi all! Thank you for all your responses, I've read through each and every response and they are very uplifting emoticon

Its been a couple months since I've been on here, unfortunately not much has changed with how I've been feeling.. I had a physical yesterday, my doctor said I was a candidate for anxiety/ depression medication, and encouraged me to see a therapist. For years I’ve had this talk with her, but I’m very nervous going on medication.

I know a lot of my issues stem from poor habits and decisions, I have so much to work on (my sleeping, my eating habits, lack of exercise, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, talking to a therapist.. the list goes on).

I can’t seem to break out of my cycle, my anxiety has been coming back really bad, and I don’t know how to handle it, I don’t know where to begin, hence why I'm here again.

This morning I made an effort to eat a healthier breakfast (grits with eggs instead of a bag of chips), took a 20 minute walk and have been drinking plenty of water. This is all great, but one day wont cut it, and staying consistent has been an issue for me.

I’m still feeling so down about life.. holidays are around the corner and I don’t want to go through the rest of the year feeling like this. I can’t seem to just be HAPPY. I go through phases where things are great, then I’m like hmm… am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path? Am I gonna mess everything up? Did I ALREADY mess everything up?

How do I pick myself up from this?
I'll be reading through everyone's messages again, there is some awesome advice here, thank you all again for taking the time to respond, I take it all to heart.


Edited by: MYSTICALWINGS04 at: 11/19/2019 (13:52)
CELTICLASSINLA's Photo CELTICLASSINLA SparkPoints: (14,399)
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9/2/19 5:06 P

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And if you do attend church regularly your priest, pastor, minister or rabbi has also studied counseling and can be a good place to start. It's important because like a doctor, they will keep your confidence and make recommendations on where or how to start with psychological help.

I am a person with an ever changing "normal" - many autoimmune gifts that defy treatment and present me with "gifts," - I have been dealing with this for since I was 26. In two months I will be 70. Aboutt the time, I know who I am and my limitations and strengths I receive yet another "gift" - to be honest, they are side effects, but thinking of them as gifts helps me specifically to move forward. I also am a strong advocate of counseling and see a psychiatrist when I need to - not a counselor or psychologist because I need someone who is a physician who understands what has happened physically. Since I take more meds than I care to think about, I also talk to my pharmacist.

You are most definitely not alone - even if no one is standing next to you right now. It's never easy but you alone can take the first steps to heal the hurt - and your doctor, therapist and friends can help. Sometimes we use the word friend casually - your real friends will stick by you - sometimes hurt you but always come back to support you. Just be honest with them. You have numbers, you have excellent suggestions from some fantastic people here. Since you haven't been eating "healthy" or regulating portion control as you say - you certainly belong here even if none of us can do more than make suggestions and offer cyber hugs.

Peace
Sunny

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9/2/19 4:42 P



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MYSTICALWINGS04,

It sounds like you are going through a challenging time. Do you or have you considered working with a therapist ? If you feel like you're ready for a change, I would encourage you to start by calling your doctor. Schedule an appointment to
have a full physical. When you're there, you can ask about local support groups or even ask for a referral to a therapist.

Don't be afraid to seek professional help. Some times talking to a therapist really can help a person work through their issues.

You're not alone and don't have to be.

Do you go to church ? You don't have to be religious. But some people do find comfort and support when they go to church. It's a good way to socialize if you feel bottled up at home.

No matter how bad things may seem, you need to look for all the things that are going right in your life. Have you talked to your family ? If you don't want to talk to them because you're afraid they'll criticize you, how about a trusted friend ?

If you don't feel comfortable talking to friends or family, would you talk to your doctor ?


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9/2/19 10:13 A

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MYSTICALWINGS04,
your post brought up a whole bunch of thoughts for me.

First of all I lost my purpose in life about 8 years ago. Post brain surgery a lot of things had changed. My personality to some degree, my ability to remember things got pretty bad. That has recovered but not 100%.

I got depressed because the old "me" was gone to some degree. My body was the same, a lot of me was the same, but inside I knew I was different. I used to write complicated software, ... but couldn't do that anymore.

I did get a different perspective on life. Life is a miracle. Now on many mornings I wake up and think ... I'm here, the sun is shining, or maybe its raining, it doesn't matter, its another day. I have the miracle of another day. Today I'm trying to figure out how to build shed doors, I'm enjoying the challenge.

As for meeting another partner, I can only say that it was when I gave up on looking, but just decided to be myself, and that I'd probably never find someone, ... that was when I did meet someone.

Here to chat anytime.

James
Alberta, Canada


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

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9/2/19 1:23 A



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Hi MYSTICALWINGS04 - my heart goes out to you.

Yes, I know what it is like. There was a time in my life, because of circumstances out of my control, and including having been in a very bad car accident which among other things, resulted in a head injury, I didn't want to live any more. Fortunately for me, I had an excellent, caring Dr. He was literally my life-saver.

I also experienced
" I make sure the people around me are heard and don't feel left out. I make sure people around me are included, yet I constantly find myself feeling lonely... "

I was a Volunteer First Responder, and was also heavily involved in caregiving. I always ensured that the other person was getting the best that they could. However, when it was my turn to need help, a lot of people turned their backs on me .... various health providers in the hospital just didn't/wouldn't listen; a lot of so-called friends and even a lot of family! I felt alone - I felt rejected - I felt like *I* didn't matter to others ....... EXCEPT my Dr.

I strongly suggest that you open up to your Dr, talk with him/her about how you feel and including your substance abuse (your Dr will NOT look down on you) and ask for a referral to a Therapist who deals with drug/alcohol. Substance abuse often has a dual component to it .... abuse; OCD; desertion; grief are just some that come to mind. To deal with one you really need to deal with the other as well.

My late husband was a chronic alcoholic. He also had severe OCD, and suffered depression as a result of witnessing ongoing arguments between his parents when he was a young child. He had a lot of help dealing with them together and it helped him understand a lot of things as well as overcome a lot of the issues. It also gave him tools to put into practice when he wasn't at therapy.

I was referred to a Psychologist after quite some time .... when I had learned to build up a bit of trust in health providers again, and I got wonderful help. I had Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help with some of the issues and that was fantastic. I also had a lot of relaxation therapy, and that was also fantastic. It helped me to sleep and also helped reduce the physical pain from not only the many fractures, but also arthritis of the spine and scoliosis. Medication can be another wonderful adjunct to Therapy.

Hang in there. We DO know what it is like, and we DO care!!!

If you feel that you might harm yourself, please phone for an ambulance and ask for help. The ER should refer you to the right help

I am assuming that you live in USA? If so, here is a link that provides a 24hr hot line for people in need .... PLEASE use it if you need to just talk to someone!
www.mentalhealthamerica.net/contact-us

Below are some other links and altho' they state 'suicide' you can still use them to talk if needed.
National Suicide Hotlines USA
Toll Free, 24/7

1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

1-800-799-4TTY (4889)- Deaf Hotline

For individual USA State hotlines:
suicidehotlines.com/ and select the drop-down for your State

• Call 411 and ask for: Suicide Hotline
• Dial 0 and ask for: Suicide Hotline
• Check the FRONT of the phone book for:
• suicide prevention
• crisis intervention
• hotlines - crisis or suicide
• community crisis center
• county mental health center
• hospital mental health clinic
• Or call 911 and ask for help. Tell them you are in suicidal danger.


Hugs,
Kris

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30225


Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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SPARK_MERLE's Photo SPARK_MERLE Posts: 9,263
9/1/19 10:39 P

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Hi MYSTICALWINGS!

I'm sorry you are going through such a rough patch. SparkPeople is a great place for support; but, if you have been feeling this way for a while, it may also help to talk with a professional who specializes in these kinds of things. Please reach out to someone your already trust or find someone local for help.

Having said that, you do sound like a strong, smart, caring person. The way you deal with and include other people is admirable. Not everyone takes time to notice others that may be feeling left out, let alone be kind to them. Be sure you are also kind to yourself! What do you do to make those other people feel included? Can you turn some of that inward and help boost your own feelings? One of the bad things about any kind of substance abuse is that it generally makes people feel worse than they started out feeling--so it is good you are trying to quit. Are you able to go out for a walk? Walking can really help clear one's mind and get some good energy flowing. What kind of things do you like to do for fun? I don't have any magic answers, of course; but, I am here to chat if that might help. Come back and let us know how you are doing.

Spark_Merle

~ Merle

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."
Edward Everett Hale
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9/1/19 9:56 P

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Please don't lose hope - no matter what you feel right now there are people that care about you. You are definitely depressed right now and I know how hard it is to see any light. Please call someone for help. You don't have to do this alone.



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9/1/19 8:34 P

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Have you ever felt like you are alone in the world, don't know where to turn to? I'm there right now...
I'm 31 years old, I know that's not old, nor is it young, but I feel so lost in life. I'm divorced.. don't feel like I make the best choices, feeling alone most of these days... I try to be a good person, practice kindness especially to those who look down, but I definitely have moments where I wonder what i'm doing with my life, who is there when I need someone to lean on? I know this site is primarily for weight management, but I need to reach out for help. I've been feeling so lost and lonely lately. I consider myself a strong person, if you were to meet me you'd think wow this girl has it together and is always happy and smiling. But deep down i'm really hurting and feeling so alone. I make sure the people around me are heard and don't feel left out. I make sure people around me are included, yet I constantly find myself feeling lonely...

Its hard for me to open up about this, but I've been abusing substances for a while now and am trying to quit. I've been eating with no care, forget portion control and eating healthy, I just don't care. (I know I care or else I wouldn't be here..). My attitude towards life has sucked lately, and I'm losing hope. I don't know where to go from here emoticon


Edited by: MYSTICALWINGS04 at: 9/1/2019 (21:04)
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