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9/16/19 10:47 A

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Eowyn

This is a great list... it looks like the nurses and your family do nice things for you.

How did you feel when you look at this list of what people do for you?

Do you think, that maybe you need to focus on the great things you have and let the little "stuff" go?

From my prospective, for someone who does have an on going disease, you are very fortunate to have the support of family and financial support of your family, many of us (myself included) do not have that type of support.

Please be grateful for the things you have and the people around you. Don't sweat the small stuff, life is really to short to complain why someone bumped into you accidentally, or someone rushed off a train and forgot to say "excuse me" or you parents were short with you. Focus on things to be grateful for, you have so much.



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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 5,235
9/16/19 6:15 A

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Off the top of my head, here are the things I am grateful for :

1) Today, I start with a new dialyzer. I always have trouble priming with a new dialyzer. To make things easier for me they have prefilled my new dialyzer with disinfectant. Normally, new dialyzers are given to us empty. So, this morning, I got started without trouble.

2) When I finished treatment today, they helped carry my stuff out of the way because I had to hold the needle sites for a few minutes to prevent bleeding. Today, they didn't chivvy me out of my chair but helped me carry my stuff to the waiting area. Sometimes, they will do this, this is not the 1st time they have done it. They have in fact done this many times. It makes it easier for everyone. And I really appreciate it.

3) Less nagging today. Today, no one found fault with me.

4) Today, the pricking of my dialysis sites was neat and not too close together. It wasn't too painful either. They were no complications today.

5) At the end of treatment, the nurse plastered my needle sites very neatly.

6) There was no bleeding or pain today.

7) Moving to when I got home, my Mom got me duck noodles. It was delicious and not too salty. I am thankful I never have to go hungry. I am thankful I always have enough (too much!) food to eat!

8) I am thankful for my water bottle that can keep my drink cold for 36 hours, so I will always have something cold to drink wherever I go.

9) I am thankful for my trusty flask so I always have hot tea to drink in dialysis.

10) Though Malaysia is hazy now, I am thankful for the rain that has made the air quality slightly better.

11) I am thankful that I managed to get my hand soap refills.

12) I am thankful that I managed to get my favorite string cheese and cream cheese spread that was still on sale.

13) I am thankful that I have air conditioning at home and my parents aren't stingy with the air conditioning.

14) I am thankful that I live a pretty comfy life.

15) I am thankful that I have a place in a dialysis center.

16) I am thankful to be alive.

17) I am thankful to have parents who love me though they sometimes drive me up the wall. But I have to remember that it is they who patiently thought me everything when I was a baby; and changed my diapers etc.

Well, that's all I can think of today.

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9/15/19 12:13 P

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Try to list different things, doing something is special the first time, list all different things - it gives a greater perspective.

If you want to put how often they have done it, then do so - this is an exercise to show you that people do go out of their way to help you and at times try to make your life easier.

It is so easy to focus on negative when there is so much you should be grateful for - not eveyone is treated the same, and this list will show you - that people have done nice things for you.

YOU JUST HAVE TO LOOK FOR IT AND FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE.
to change your mindset.

Edited by: CHICAGOHOPE at: 9/15/2019 (12:18)

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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 5,235
9/15/19 6:16 A

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Would the same things done on different days count?

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9/15/19 6:00 A

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Eowyn

Well, how did your list of 10-15 things that were done for you come? I'm sure your list was longer than 15.

How did it make you feel when you looked at that list?



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9/14/19 6:06 A

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Great idea Slimmerkiwi.



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9/14/19 5:21 A



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I totally agree in that not all complaining is counterproductive. I have complained myself, but it is when it is justified. Faulty goods is just one of those times.

I think it comes down to what is really important in life. I will ask myself before I act. IF it is important, then I WILL complain, but if it isn't in the general scheme of things, I tend to say nothing because it doesn't do our overall health and well-being any good to constantly be complaining, and it is also a good way to earn a bad reputation for being a moaner.

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9/14/19 2:26 A

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Thanks, Kris. That is very thoughtful of you!

I have copied and saved it in my PC.

Not all complaining is counterproductive however. I have had refunds/discounts at times when I complained because of bad service/products.

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9/14/19 2:17 A



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I was looking for something not related to you, but I came across this and immediately thought it was appropriate for you. I have copy/pasted some because a lot doesn't apply.


Where Do Negative Thoughts Originate?

Negative thoughts are often the product of established patterns that are related to our belief systems. This could be about a variety of things, such as self-esteem, productivity, finances, relationships, a career, or anything else.
Read how to stop being negative all the time by building the 37 habits to stop negativity forever.

Do you know where your negative thinking comes from?

If you want to understand where your negative thinking comes from, there are several things that you should consider.

Do you find that you complain a lot, or are often sarcastic?

Do you blame other people and never accept blame yourself?

These may be some factors that lead to negativity.

Some others include:

Often criticizing people
Being attracted to drama
Having a victim mentality
Always expecting the worst
Feeling depressed
Taking things personally
Dwelling on bad news

Being negative also influences those around you, including your friends, co-workers, family, and children, who can then grow up to be negative people themselves.

Constant negativity also creates low self-esteem, and can often lead to unhappiness or depression.

If you are unable to see the positive aspect of things, or you fail to have faith or trust in anyone, you are putting yourself at risk for leading an unhappy life.

This will cause you to live without any peace of mind because you will be in a constant state of conflict.

Recite Positive Affirmations

You can use positive affirmations to re-frame your method of thinking and change your attitude about life. Affirmations are short, positive statements that will encourage you to focus on your goals while getting rid of your self-defeating beliefs.

Re-program your mind.

Here are some examples of affirmations that you can use:

I can let go of small things.
I can always find a silver lining.
I will start looking at the glass as being half-full.
I am in control.
I will replace criticism with compliments.

Adopt an affirmation habit.

Take some time every day to repeat 5-10 positive affirmations. You can do this however often you feel like you need to, but make it a point to stop at least twice a day to take the time to do this.

Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude is a huge factor in overall life satisfaction. It is important to realize how grateful you are for the things around you and stop to appreciate the small things in life. Actively practice gratitude in order to stop being negative.

Do this regularly.

People who practice gratitude on a regular basis by stopping to reflect upon the things they are thankful for have more positive feelings, get better sleep, are more compassionate, and have stronger immune systems.

Remind yourself of what is good in your life.

These may be small things that someone wouldn't normally notice, like the pretty flowers you pass on your commute to work or the fresh foods you have available to eat.

Remind yourself of how privileged you are, even if you don't always feel that way,

Get a gratitude journal and write three things you are grateful for every morning.

Stop complaining.

Where does complaining get you, anyway? Nowhere. So just stop it!

Say “Thank You.”

If someone does something nice for you, no matter how small it is, tell them that you are grateful.

If someone holds the door for you or lets you into their lane in a traffic jam, either say thank you or give a friendly wave and smile to show your gratitude.

"Thank you" is more than about acknowledging kindness. It makes you feel better and another person feel better. It is a true win-win, and can even be instrumental in deepening casual relationships.




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9/12/19 9:20 P



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Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 9/12/2019 (21:22)
Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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9/12/19 9:20 P



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Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30225


Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
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ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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9/12/19 9:04 P

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I know and also wish everyone was treated the same. But that is not reality. There will always be people that need more or less attention.

I get and understand the pain. And don't don't know why they didn't help as we don't know the full story (always two sides with the truth in the middle) But..... they have cared for you all these years, have given you nutrition advise, have done a lot for you, they worked with your schedule.....yet for the longest time you did not follow or take your nutrition seriously. Maybe they wish all their patients were the same and followed their advise.

I do wish everyone was treated the same but its not reality. Why not look at all the things they have done for you? Can you list 10 things they have done do you? Maybe 15?



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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 5,235
9/12/19 7:00 P

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I don't expect preferential treatment. I just feel all patients shld be treated equally. Esp when they are in pain.

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9/12/19 1:59 P

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People bump into each other everyday. Some say excuse me, or i'm sorry..others don't say anything.

My question to you is do you want to be right or happy?

If you want to go thru life being a "right fighter", you will ALWAYS feel like a victim (even if it's not true)

If you want to be happy, move on from the bump and find things to be happy. Its not that big of a deal.

Again, if you have a bad attitude or disposition people won't go out of their way for you.

Which one do you want to be?



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9/12/19 11:16 A



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"Well, she still got offended and unjustly said that I think I'm always right while other ppl are always wrong. She even accused me of finding fault with her!"

The nurse was spot on.

You're still trying to prove that you were right and that the nurses, who genuinely bumped into you by accident, were wrong.

No wonder they wouldn't massage your leg cramp. I wouldn't either if you treated me that way. Why do you expect preferential treatment when you treat the nurses so rudely ?


Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 9/12/2019 (11:19)
EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 5,235
9/12/19 10:04 A

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My back was to her.

She was facing my back, in other words she had a clear full view of where she was going.

Please get the facts straight before jumping to the wrong conclusion.

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9/12/19 9:31 A



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@GOINGFORSKINNY,

"If you go thru life trying to ruin someone else's day, soon you'll discover it's your own day that gets ruined."

That was a terrific comment, insightful and very true.



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9/12/19 9:17 A

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"I tell her nicely that if her eyes were facing in front, she should have been more careful. She said 'I' should be more careful. But I didn't see her, my back was turned to her. Do I have eyes at the back of my head?!"

So... you expect HER to have eyes in the back of her head, but use the same as an excuse for your behavior.
You are always on the defensive and snapping at people.
Try a little kindness.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
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9/11/19 10:32 P

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Your question is what can you do about this... simply put, you can deal with it a little more politely. When someone bumps into me I do not care for it either...nobody does but if they say excuse me, you say something like "it's okay" and then poof..you get over it and move on. If they don't say excuse me...you say something like "ooops, sorry. I'm in your way" and then you get over it and move on. If you go thru life trying to ruin someone else's day, soon you'll discover it's your own day that gets ruined.

"Success is holding on when you feel like letting go."



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9/11/19 10:30 P

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Your question is what can you do about this... simply put, you can deal with it a little more politely. When someone bumps into me I do not care for it either...nobody does but if they say excuse me, you say something like "it's okay" and then poof..you get over it and move on. If they don't say excuse me...you say something like "ooops, sorry. I'm in your way" and then you get over it and move on. If you go thru life trying to ruin someone else's day, soon you'll discover it's your own day that gets ruined.

"Success is holding on when you feel like letting go."



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9/11/19 10:01 A

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Eowyn

At times on your posts you have a harshness that comes across.  You at times are on the defense when its not necessary, and at times their is the impression you are entitled.  And that is just via your posts.

In person, your body language and tone of voice can be part of how people are seeing you and reacting to you.

Being on the defense all the times can make people come across even when they don't mean it as harsh.

Have you considered how YOU come across to people?  The same issues you have with the public is the same you have with your family.   Maybe start by looking inside yourself.

I too would be offended by your comments.



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9/11/19 8:37 A



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"Well, she still got offended and unjustly said that I think I'm always right while other ppl are always wrong. She even accused me of finding fault with her!"

Your nurse is spot on.

"I tell her nicely that if her eyes were facing in front, she should have been more careful."

I would have considered that a rude statement as well, if you said it to me.



Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 9/11/2019 (08:39)
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9/11/19 7:15 A



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"I tell her nicely that if her eyes were facing in front, she should have been more careful."

I can't for the life of me think how you could say that that it didn't come across as sarcasm.

I think it is more than likely that the way you communicate with others, nurses included, does rub people up the wrong way. Some people are quite sarcastic but don't realize it. When the Nurse banged her butt into yours, and easy non-offensive way to make your point would be to say something like 'two butts alike' or as a former boss said to me one day "shift - there isn't room for two big butts behind the counter"

As far as the cramp is concerned, I feel for you. Cramp can be very painful. Something I've done when it's happened to me is to really tense the calf muscle and then very slowly reduce the intensity. If the cramp comes back I just tighten the muscle again and reduce it slowly again.




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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 5,235
9/11/19 3:09 A

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The other day, towards the last 15 minutes of dialysis, I have severe cramps in my right calf. I was in real pain! This is the 1st time in my history of being on dialysis where the pain of a leg cramp has forced me to end treatment early!

Normally, the pain will go away after a few seconds but on that day, the pain kept coming in waves! And wouldn't go away.

Anyway, I cried out in pain and requested that they massage that calf. Well, they refused, saying I wan't old enough to get such 'special' treatment.

What?! Just because I may be younger, doesn't mean that I can't feel pain! Do you think it is right to discriminate between patients like this? Shouldn't all patients be treated equally? Do you think we choose to be there?

Then today, a nurse banged her butt against mine, didn't even apologize. So, I said to her as nicely as I could, next time you want me to give way, say excuse me. That's all I said, I didn't raise my voice and I made sure I said it in a polite and respectful way.

Well, she still got offended and unjustly said that I think I'm always right while other ppl are always wrong. She even accused me of finding fault with her!

Last week, I was packing my stuff to go home when a nurse rammed into me from behind, on my dialysis arm, no less! Didn't apologize. I tell her nicely that if her eyes were facing in front, she should have been more careful. She said 'I' should be more careful. But I didn't see her, my back was turned to her. Do I have eyes at the back of my head?!

I mean, why are they so mean to me? My Dad pays for me to be there, same as everyone else! I may be more outspoken that most patients but that is no reason to single me out for unjust meanness!

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