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NIRERIN Posts: 14,704
2/11/20 5:50 P

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Could you invite people over for dinner? Do you know anyone that you could do a potluck with? Are there any activities that you could meet up with others to do?

-google first. ask questions later.

MLAN613 Posts: 23,912
2/10/20 6:35 A

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On my current plan, I don't necessarily want to cheat per se but I am learning that it's perhaps too restrictive for my lifestyle. The biggest issue I currently have is they expect us to use animal protein. Storage is a huge issue since I only have a small drawer freezer and it's blowing my budget.

Thankfully, I my first of 2 appointments with a licensed nutritionist tonight. I honestly think they aren't used to dealing with someone like me who already eats a well balanced diet with plenty of vegetables and some fruit, protein and fat. I am also active with running, strength, cross training, and a part-time gig at a local dinner theater where I work 2-3 shifts a week and get 3-4 miles of walking in each shift.

What I am getting at is I think I want to cheat myself because living within the restrictions set are not sitting well with me. At all. I am hoping the appointment tonight gives me some flexibility.

Meghan in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA

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RUSTY_WOODS Posts: 1,011
2/10/20 5:47 A

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I ate at home, finished my laundry and went to bed.

I was simply wanting to discuss cheating without it being the result of cravings.. I didn't want any particular food.. I think Unban is right, it is simply a social thing, where I associate going to a restaurant with being around friends, and other people, even the waitress.

I live with my brother, and not much new conversation occurs. As far as my diet, there is no restaurant that I could go to, except maybe a steakhouse. Any regular place will end up with me getting kicked out of ketosis. Even if I eat a sausage omelette with water to drink, I end up stalling for several days. It's never the same as if you prepare it at him, and if I go over 20 total grams of carbs, I get kicked out of ketosis. Gain weight. I don't consider ANY meal outside the home to be healthy. I worked at too many restaurants to think that.

I can socialize in other manners, which is what I will have to do. I think I was just bored last night, but my first thought was to go out to eat, not find people to talk to.

I just thought it might be an interesting topic.

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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (329,666)
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2/10/20 1:57 A

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Who are you 'cheating'??? Not us, and certainly not you.

I believe that being too strict on one's diet often leads a person to feel how you are. I very seldom eat out, in part because of the cost, and in part because it is no fun when you are by yourself, and in part because I actually ENJOY what I eat, and I like cooking. For me, the social aspect is as important as the food eaten. On the very odd occasion I do eat out it is generally when my sister and I get together, or after a funeral. Both of those examples aren't very often.

When I was in weight-loss mode, I allowed myself to eat what I wanted (less wise choices and/or perhaps more than my ranges) once every 2 weeks. Sometimes it would be longer than that, and occasionally it would be a few days sooner. It worked well. It helped to keep any 'craving' at bay and keep me heading in the right direction. It obviously worked because I not only reach my goal, but I have been maintaining for a few years using that method.


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URBANREDNEK Posts: 12,574
2/9/20 11:50 P

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I know it's just semantics, but I can't wrap my head around "cheat" applying to my food / activity choices. Each choice is more or less healthy, more or less directed by physical need or emotional need, and each can be considered as either a stand-alone thing or as just a minor part in my overall life. I will grant you that it is much easier for me to look at it that way, since I don't have any draconian restrictions dictated by my health needs. My only ones are foods that I'm either allergic to or my body no longer digests (and I miss my spinach and broccoli, dagnabbit).

With that said - there are absolutely times when I randomly feel like my more healthy and really enjoyable plan isn't what I WANT, and that I'd rather go out, or order in, or have something less healthy just "because". When that happens, I try to figure out what the background reason is - and I most often realize that it's an emotional thing and has nothing really to do with the actual food.

For me, these occasions most often are caused by feeling lonely (and I really just want somebody to listen to me), or feeling sad (and I really just want some lively diversion), or grieving (and I want a particular food that I associate with good memories of a lost loved one). Occasionally the feelings arise from some weird bit of self-rebellion (I don't wanna "nourish" myself - I just wanna EAT --- WAAAHHH), and sometimes it is just because I'm tired and want to be served and taken care of without worrying about whether something is good for me or not.

Once I've determined the cause, then I figure out how to handle it.

For the lonely or sad, the need is really socializing rather than the food, so I call a friend or two and go hang out for coffee, or a walk, or a restaurant dinner --- and make food choices that are "more healthy" and that suit my dietary restrictions. My friends are all quite aware of my necessary restrictions, and are all quite happy to choose a meeting place where we each can get something that works for us.

For the grieving and wanting an associated "happy" food - well, that I usually deal with by having a cry, distracting myself with a task that I enjoy (batch cooking is my "go to" these days), and then planning an occasion in the near future to meet up with others who share the grief and the memories.

For the rebellious (whiny) or tired (whiny) - well, I have "indulgent" choices that still meet my needs in the freezer (prepared for just these occasions), and have a couple of favourite restaurants where I can get meals that I absolutely love, that are not too much "less healthy", and that definitely can fit in with my overall life. I have no issue with including some occasional self-indulgence in my mental / emotional self-care!

In your situation today, it sounds like a mix of lonely / sad and a wee bit of rebellion. Your laundry distraction was a good start, but hopefully you called up some buddies and got together for an activity that included some laughter and good talk --- and some food and drink that fit in to your health restrictions while still being enough of an indulgence that it satisfied your need to step at least a little bit out of line.

For future, I'd suggest that you make sure that you have some local restaurants where you can get suitable foods that you really enjoy - and that your friends can get ones that work for them, too. Plan some activities together on a regular basis to get the socializing that you're not getting during your usual home meals, and also plan some just plain sit down and talk and laugh time. Your food choices shouldn't be something that make you feel isolated, or they will never be sustainable (no matter how healthy those choices are for your body), so do some checking around to find options that will allow you to meet your emotional and mental needs too.

I hope your laundry got finished, your meal was satisfying, and you have wrapped your head around what the emotions were. That should get you looking in the right direction to plan your coping mechanism for the future.

Sleep well - and have a great week!

Sir Terry Pratchett: "Science is not about building a body of known 'facts'. It is a method for asking awkward questions and subjecting them to a reality-check, thus avoiding the human tendency to believe whatever makes us feel good."

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NITEMAN3D's Photo NITEMAN3D Posts: 22,836
2/9/20 10:44 P

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I would guess everybody has this from time to time, but this is where discipline is learned and applied because your title says it all. "Cheat"... on who or what? Not the "diet" since a plan on paper really doesn't care what you do or don't do. That leaves a person and the only person involved is you. *You* are 'cheating' on *you*. Have some peanut butter celery and meditate. Fight it because you can't win by default, you really do have to fight it and sometimes it's a knockdown drag out. Good luck!


Edited by: NITEMAN3D at: 2/9/2020 (22:44)
Dave A.- South Central PA, USA

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CD25372332 Posts: 533
2/9/20 8:03 P

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WHYSHOSHONI SparkPoints: (14,990)
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2/9/20 6:05 P

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Hi Rusty_woods,

I’m sorry you’re feeling like you you just want to go off plan right now. I get that way more often than you but getting better at staying on track. Good idea to start the laundry, although that wouldn’t work for me cuz I’d just leave it and deal with the wrinkled clothes later. But every minute you put it off is another minute for the craving to pass.

My cravings usually come at night after dinner, and that’s when the sugar demon calls. I will put in my earbuds, crank up my fave music and start dancing in the kitchen and living room. After 15-20 minutes the craving has (usually) gone. So distract and if you can do something healthy instead, at least you’re adding some positive factor.

If I already had my dinner planned and cooked, I’d just stay in and enjoy not having to worry about it. Or maybe you’re bored with it a bit, and can change or spice it up in some way.

You can do it Rusty!

Edited by: WHYSHOSHONI at: 2/9/2020 (18:07)

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RUSTY_WOODS Posts: 1,011
2/9/20 5:33 P

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I am doing very well on my diet, and losing weight. On low carb, I don't even have cravings which some of you have to contend with, but I just woke up from a nap, and I want to go eat at a restaurant, which is not on my plan.. and I am not planning to even try. At least that is how I feel.

I started 2 loads of laundry, so I can't leave right now, in hopes the feeling passes by the time I finish in 2 hours.

I have my dinner cooked, and ready to go, and I have to check my blood sugar before bedtime, and I know it will be high, if I go cheat, but I want to.

No reason why. I am not hungry. I am not craving any particular food. I just want to go out. My meals at home aren't as social as when you are sitting around a table, laughing and having a good time. It has been since Christmas, since I have been off plan.

So I thought I would post about it here. I hope the feeling passes, but does anyone else experience this, for no reason? I can logically say to myself.. don't do it!!, but I still want to right now.

It's something I need to understand, so I can get past these feelings, when they pop up. Anyone else feeling this way, and what do you plan to do to prevent yourself from caving in?

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