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DMORELLI1031's Photo DMORELLI1031 Posts: 4,299
12/25/12 2:12 A

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Happy Holidays, I am Praying for you all

Darlene


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DMORELLI1031's Photo DMORELLI1031 Posts: 4,299
12/22/12 9:03 P

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Hi this is my first Christmas without my son. He also died in a car accident, the kid that killed is still not in jail, 9 mos, still waiting for his court date. he is in college, with his girlfriend.
having a great time one big party

Darlene


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HELENROSEOP's Photo HELENROSEOP Posts: 140
12/15/12 11:59 A

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My heart aches for you all as it has ached for my daughter these last three years since our precious angel Danielle was killed in a car accident. It is said that time heals all hurts but I am not sure that this really is the case. Life around you moves on. Children who are the same age as your beloved grow older and your beloved forever remain the same age as when as when their guardian wrapped her wings around them and took them to God.

Be so very gentle with yourselves. Be so very patient with yourselves. Be ever so gentle with those around you. Even though the pain is always with us, it does soften and take on new meaning.

Helen

God has created us to love and to be loved and this is the beginning of prayer -- to know that He loves me, to know that I have been created for greater things.- Blessed Mother Teresa

www.rachelsvineyard.org

may the unborn child dance in the sunlight



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12/14/11 4:38 P

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This time of year leaves me feeling resentful. The man that chose to drink and climb behind the wheel of his car Which caused my sons death now sits at home with his kids. He spent 41 months in jail. But I will never again spend a Christmas with my son at our table in this lifetime.

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12/8/11 10:38 P

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Eventhough this is the second Xmas since my little man became an angel I feel like it's the first. Robbie was born 17 Jun 10 and left my arms 10 Dec 10. I was in such a blur, I can't remember much. I'm finding this year to be really hard too. I have a 2 mth old little girl and my husband is so excited for Xmas and I've been really trying but I just don't feel it the same. I still cry all the time, even with my beautiful girl. I can't help but compare her to him and how different their lives are. I love her so much and because of all I went through I'm so scared something bad will happen too her. I have pains in my stomach, stressing out everyday that she's eating, pooping, peeing ok, she's sleeping safe, she's not sick. My husband is so relaxed about everything so I stress even more....I'm always watching that he's doing everything safe too....I don't know how to relax myself and beleive that she'll be ok.

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DLEERICH1's Photo DLEERICH1 SparkPoints: (9,868)
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12/7/11 11:06 P

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No, I don't think so.

"Above all else, remember this: to thine own self be true."


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12/7/11 6:05 P

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Robert has been gone for six years.It seems like yesterday that he left us. On our coatrack I have hung one of his flanel shirts, It just seems tohelp me feel closer to him. does that seem strange?

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12/5/11 11:24 P

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As I was looking over the forum, I saw the "holiday help tips" from 2010--for those of you who are facing your first holiday with an angel, these are invaluable.

Mindy collapsed and died on December 2nd, so that holiday, I was numb. I don't even remember it...I almost consider my "first" Christmas without her to be the following year.

Please, please, please reach out to us to let us help you....please, please, please be there for me when I need to talk, or cry, or remember.


"Above all else, remember this: to thine own self be true."


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12/5/11 6:47 P

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You are right, Dianne, this IS where you need to be, and J, too. And, me. Thank you to the starter of this thread (but I don't remember your name--but I saw you also started a thread about acts of kindness in your angel's name).

It's not just about a 'day', it's the whole season. I will still see something in a store while Christmas shopping and think, "Mindy will LOVE that!" Oh, yea, Mindy won't be here...


"Above all else, remember this: to thine own self be true."


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FLGATORMOM's Photo FLGATORMOM Posts: 124
11/22/11 11:27 A

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It's a year later, from the last post and all I can say is Thank you Penny. Your words were a great help. I really like the analogy of the mirror. It says it all. J

Edited by: FLGATORMOM at: 12/5/2011 (18:07)
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.


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12/5/10 7:30 P

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emoticon Thank you Penny.
The shattered mirror is a beautiful comparison. It really fits.
I appreciate having you to talk with. I do think I need more "quiet time" . I took some time for myself this afternoon and it has helped me to even out a bit.

emoticon Dianne

PKELLAM's Photo PKELLAM Posts: 678
12/5/10 1:22 P

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Dianne -

You are so very new to this grief journey. You are still encountering all the "firsts" that the first year brings. And for me at least, every single one of them ripped a little hole in my heart that was trying so hard to heal. The best comparison I've come up with is that the death of a child is like shattering a full length mirror and then trying to put it back together. It can be done, but it's never quite the same and any little thing can re-shatter it while it's in the building process. Hopefully that makes sense.

Take very very good care of yourself. Don't try to do things the way you did last year. It's okay to not do anything if that's what you need to do to survive the season. Surround yourself with those that love and understand you. The ones that will get it if you decide to spend Christmas in a dark room watching reruns of I Love Lucy or something. And remember that the holidays are just that - another day. Not unlike today and not any different than tomorrow. You get to decide how much weight to assign to a specific date. And your version doesn't have to agree with the rest of the worlds.

Sending Peace...

Penny


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12/4/10 1:31 A

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emoticon Here is where I need to be. I am doing so poorly. I was doing ok, working away at the grief process and such. Doing the things that I need to do for me. I have come to almost a halt. Christopher died July 1st this year at the age of 12. Christmas without him... I am almost crashing and burning. I feel that I can't get through this. I go to a Grief Counsellor. I have the ideas of things that can be done. Emotionally my heart is torn apart. All around are reminders of Christmas and the focus on family. I have 2 daughters who are young adults but no younger children. A part of me always misses my son, but since the holiday season started its looming so deep and overpowering me.I needed to share this.

Love,
Dianne

PKELLAM's Photo PKELLAM Posts: 678
11/25/10 8:28 P

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Val - I love this idea and I'm quite sure your son does too. Thank you so much for sharing...

Penny

Penny


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RAINBOWFALLS's Photo RAINBOWFALLS Posts: 51,457
11/25/10 5:33 P

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I always light three candles and have them on my holiday table. For me they mean "I Love You". I have done this every year since my son died.

Val

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.
Abraham Lincoln
PKELLAM's Photo PKELLAM Posts: 678
11/24/10 2:57 P

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The holidays can be incredibly difficult for a grieving family. This thread is here for you. It's sole purpose is to give you a safe place to vent and ask for help making it through the holidays successfully - even if it's 5 minutes at a time.

If you are in a place to offer words of advice and support please check this thread often. Those of us that have traveled this path are uniquely qualified to offer advice to those that are newer in their journey.

Wishing each of you Peace...

Penny - Sean's Mom

(If you feel that you are in immediate danger please contact your local 911 operator for immediate assistance.)

Penny


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